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Showing posts from August, 2013

Day 30 in the Wild-erness

It is already day 30 of 40 days of writing! I can't believe it!

Showing up every day to write has been powerful. Some days stand out more than others. Some days have felt like I was letting myself squeak by with a little too easy. Reminds me of those workouts where you put the time in, but you don't break a sweat. It is hard to feel good about them, but the intention is there. However, showing up consistently is teaching me not to judge those days, and certainly not to abandon ship because of them.

I am realizing that showing up for writing is part of what makes me me. Showing up to create is part of what makes me me. This is a huge realization!

This process of consistently giving time to the creator part of me is making me realize that not giving it time was like depriving a part of my body from getting the supply of blood it needs. Who knew that it would take a 40 day stint to take the tourniquet off!

It is interesting to me how long it takes us to nurture our creative selv…

Every Gesture a Prayer

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I am starting the second half of my 40 days of writing. I would say that more than birthing any great content, I have been able to become a great observer of my process.

I see how little I allow myself to actually have a process, and assume that my creations should be pop out fully formed and perfect, but how the very mind that requires this, is also the same perspective that puts a giant black X through the ideas and dismisses and passes by little gems of writing. I once had a professor who dismissed my piano playing as painful to listen to. I'll never forget him pacing through the hall, turning his keys aggressively enough for me to hear in his pocket, as I played Beethoven. This made me work harder for his approval, but I realize that the magic of Beethoven was largely dead to me in striving for this approval. And what I heard at that time in my life was, why are you even in the game?!…

Hello from the Wild-erness

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Been away from the computer for several days, but have still been showing up for my 15 minutes of writing.

Been a difficult week, however. The mind has been biting at my heels, asking me what I am doing, telling me that surely I am going nowhere with this. Surely, I am doomed to fail, and why am I wasting the time?! Yeah, because the rest of my 15 minute increments in my day are being used so effectively! Right.

The mind can be such a false friend, and yet, such a persuasive shadow. Can follow behind you, until you truly find yourself spooked.

I have been thinking a lot of my grandmother, and how after her death, my dad found notebooks of hers, with unfinished phrases, half-sprouted ideas that seemed to be killed before they ever took their first breath.

I feel her telling me to finish my ideas, not to kill them before they have a chance to breathe their first breath, that giving them life is the hardest part, but once they take their first breath, they take on a lif…