It has officially been a week! This is exciting! I soooo didn't want to show up today, but I am very glad I did. It has helped me to begin, by beginning each writing session with a five-minute brain dump. I look forward to the brain dump, because it is EASY, and that gets me to the computer, writing, and then after 5ish, I set out for work on Bloomtopia.
Just writing the past several days has helped me to feel more and more into the part of me that has always held Utopian ideals. I've never known anything different than a distinct sense of possibility for growth and change, for release from our need to fight and bicker, and a return to a solid Love that acts as a healing force.
I was SUCH a pain in the buttocks as a kid.
I remember as a kid my mom getting mad about something and me going marathon distances to talk to her about it--to make peace out of the conflict. She is one of the few persons who would go the distance with me, to find a solid and deep connection that wasn't there in the expression of her anger and mine. There was always another perspective that I felt she needed to hear, and so, I would keep her standing in the doorway of my room, sending what I felt to be lifelines her way, and reeling her into the more affectionate parts of herself.
After a while she would often soften, come sit on my bed. Her eyes would get big and her heart would open. I wish I could remember what I used to say. I know that it was about making sure I was understood and she was too, and then we would access something that diffused things, at least until the next time.
I am realizing that I have used language to rope people into the conversation for as long as I can remember, and to bring them back to the heart. I may be a 12-minute miler runner, but when it comes to conversation that forges release, connection, and ends in love and possibility, I can absolutely demolish the competition. It doesn't mean I am successful in the clearing. I had brothers who basically wanted to duck tape my mouth! But it has been my way of navigating, and I have endless energy for it!
And yet, language is a funny thing!
I have been thinking a lot about the story of the tower of Babel. I have been thinking about how humans having been split into many different languages, and having to learn to communicate with one another is just the tip of the iceberg with regard to this metaphor.
I'll never forget studying in France, and having a run in with a student at the university. She was Algerian of decent, but had lived her life in France. I remember her getting very irritated about something. I wish I could remember what. I remember how completely inadequate I was to express the nuances of the language in French, not because I didn't have the grammar, but because communicating was sooooo much deeper than just words. I remember feeling sick that I couldn't portray certain sentiments to bring us to a peaceful resolution, because she had no basis for that way of connecting.
The language took us nowhere.
So, perhaps this was my biggest lesson about the division of the world, and why it has been important for me to value learning to communicate deeper than language, to help me to trust that there is a place we can all meet that transcends language and communication style and nuance, but allows these to be there in all their unique splendor!
I am learning that the bigger truth is that whether we speak the same language or not, it doesn't matter, because there are as many communication styles as there are people, and that bridging the gap is about seeing that every human's communication style is important, and has been grown by a variety of factors innate and environmental.
Every human being is a sacred country, full of boundaries, fences, towering walls, wild landscapes and rich terrain. Every human holds a story of global scale right within their own body, spirit, and mind.
So, I am learning that I must tread carefully on the sacred territory of my fellow humans, but also balance that with being myself, and letting a roar out once in a while, because I believe we are hear to help each other remember something we know and sense, but can't quite communicate.
In letting myself feel the fullness of my humanness, for better or for worse, I bring an aliveness to the table. I invite engagement, as I see that many who aren't comfortable with communication are being asked to stretch themselves, just as I, uncomfortable with silence, am stretching myself to allow much different ways of relating.
I am learning that connection is its own animal. I have learned not to judge how we get there. I am learning to truly understand that if we are not there yet together, it is because we are still traveling. I am also learning that there is no time limit, no seconds on the clock ticking, that will reduce us to failure of crossing the finish line in time.
Today I embrace that little pain in the buttocks
Yes, my twin is totally wearing a Darth Vadar holographic jewelry. Love the 80's.
one in me, who was wholly focused on bringing love into the world, and who used words and conversation as a means of getting there--who believe that this was the true purpose of words.
As a bridge.
I am thankful for those who have met me on that bridge, in all their communication styles, and who have, and continue to teach me, so much about the art of Love.
My heart soars with possibilities for embracing one another even when we totally don't get each other! XO