Photo found here
Okay, so pure honesty here. I did get up to write at 6:30, but I stalled those 15 minutes of writing until 8:00, surfing social networks, email, etc.
I was also a little miffed that I was awoken from a very interesting dream where I was interviewing for a job with a mentor and role model, who is my version of who I want to be when I grow up, and she was doing everything in her power to give me a very favorable offer! And I got woken up before I could hear her terms!
Still, I knew I would be getting to writing, and the coolness of the morning was very soothing and magical, and I am glad I got to watch and feel the sun grow brighter and warmer through the window.
I also made for a soft entry: kept my laptop by my bed, so, warm under covers I could place it on my lap.
The discomfort of beginning kept me 'cleaning house' so to speak, answering emails, forwarding interesting content to friends. Yet, the commitment finally led me to open up my writing program.
Day 1: what tugged at me was to write from a prompt of opening doors to my creativity and walking through to see what was on the other side, and writing about what was shown to me.
Immediately scenes from old writing came forward, and I saw how things could mix and match. My intention for this afternoon is to fish some of those writings out, and try them on together.
I am noticing and wishfully thinking, perhaps? that at this point much of foundational writing and conceptualizing has been done, and that it is a matter of stringing together a story that, as Bob Dylan so aptly put it about his music, "that I can dig.".
However, this is making it clear to me, that the morning 15 needs to bring about writing new content, and no fishing, editing or constructing, otherwise that will take over. And in the past, this is what always brings me to my knees, my making it all too complicated.
Allowing myself to really fall in love with my creations without the editor mind jumping in to rain on the parade feels paramount to keeping the ball rolling.
We are so fickle when it comes to giving out our love and affection, expecting so much in return so quickly before withdrawing our leap to love. I am doing my best to step out of this conditional love in all of my relationships, and my hope is to treat this project like one of my children. They can make me mad as hell, but I will never give up on them, stop loving them, nurturing them. I will love them fiercely, but less and less I will judge what fierce love looks like--because sometimes it is a swift kick in the pants that is truly the most loving and which frees us up to focus on what truly matters in this life, and to quit beating the drum of our victim archetype that is always ready to rise up and give up.
Btw , there is a great comic on The Oatmeal about running that I want to keep reading over and over that is directly applicable to my writing, and every other aspect of my life, for that matter! Make sure to read all 6 parts.(Thanks, E, for posting it on FB--see FB is good for a lot! Maybe even worth stalling for:)
Day 1 down, and 39 to go. XO!