Skip to main content

"Honey, it's time!"

         My first daughter peeking out from the womb. I just love this first picture of her and all the promise 
and possibility it holds of a brand new being!


I'm all packed, and even though I have been feeling inklings of labor pains for many months, the time has finally come for the real labor. I am ready. So ready. Joyfully ready and bursting at the seams to get to know this life that lives within me, that is finally ready to be born as the expression of my heart, my soul, and my explorations as a human being.

Being a mother of two daughters, I can't very well help but to marry the creative process of birthing our souls, with the metaphor of birthing a human newborn, with all the beauty, uniqueness, and possibility that each one holds.

Have I written this before? I don't know, I don't think it matters. It is all part of uncovering more and more of the heart of who we are, and who we are meant to be. Layers and layers to get to the good stuff. 
 At this time in my life, there is the feeling like I finally made it to the part up the mountain where I can drink in the view. It isn't the top, but it is the place where I have finally received my own personal understanding, that it really was never about getting to the top. That it really is all about the journey. The contraction and expansion of the muscles. The expansion and contraction of the lungs. The expansion and contraction of the mind. The expansion and contraction of fear and bliss. The expansion and contraction of connections. The learning. The growing. The beginnings and endings. All those you meet along the way. The sensations of living, growing, bending and swaying, tripping-- sometimes finding ourselves in very contorted and uncomfortable positions just to find that drop of sunlight to keep you going--sending roots out through mud and clay, truly hoping you can trust your heart that tells you that there is water out there.

It is time for me to take all of this seriously. I have seen what light and love can do to awaken our hearts, to connect our souls, and to bring us all into a deep and lasting feeling of home with one another. I have written about it. I have spent countless hours communing with others, and my inner world about it. 

I have born witness of the Soul's expression in others over and over, and passionately celebrated my finding it in them, and felt humbled at the addition of their unique treasures to the world's trove, which has felt more accurately as adding a golden essence of preciousness right into my soul membrane. Like I WAS MADE TO RECEIVE THEM!. 

I have profusely expressed my bedazzlement--feeling the deepest and sweetest kind of magic, experiencing my eyes being opened to the most beautiful sights and sensations that could have only been created by these unique creators. I have felt a rush of something so powerful within me acting strongly to express the importance of their continued exploration and sharing of their creations and soul's findings. I have been inspired, as in filled with spirit and deepest WONDER! 

I have become a broken record about our sacred calling, above all, being the expression of our souls, and with the expansion of this, feeling a tightening in my chest in the form of longing that I might heed my own words.

I am finally catching up to the steady streams of inspiration that birthed Bloomtopia, finally getting all the fear out of the way, so that I can jump courageously into the current and let it take me! Instead of spending and using up so much energy fighting parts of me to get out of the way! 

It has been such a long journey to get to this point where I can jump in the river, instead of hesitating on the banks. 

I honor all that has been. 

In retrospect I can see how perfectly suited all of it has been to help me awaken, to help me to burn away the fear, to help me become humbled, and sacredly opened to receive the heart of my brothers and sisters, without my fear of being unworthy obscuring my view of them, creating edges around my love. 

I've had to burn through so much fear of letting my heart shine, and the even bigger fear, that I might look stupid in the expression of it, and worse, not know it. 

But this is where I keep returning over and over again:

I am meant to express.

I am meant to express my soul.

I am meant to express my soul to you.

You are meant to express.

You are meant to express your soul.

You are meant to express your soul to me.

We are meant to express.

We are meant to express our souls.

We are meant to express our souls to one another.

We are meant to paint our souls on the canvas of our experience and share in this. 

We are meant to begin. 



Comments

  1. Beautiful one...YES! It's so time to jump, giggling into that River, to shine that shine that can't help but shine.

    I love you. I am here. We are together & I'm so grateful. Ready, set, JUMP!

    So very grateful for YOU.

    xo

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

♥ Thank you for taking the time connect with me here. ♥

Popular posts from this blog

RIP Poltergeist

After over ten years of an incredibly intense journey as a seeker, I find myself lying fallow. Taking a rest. When I first discovered this uncomfortable fact — threat to the hamster wheel that was my spiritual rat race, I surrendered for dead, but something wouldn’t let that fact sit as truth. I was lying fallow, but this implied that after a good rest, fruit could follow. This had nothing to do with death.

I am humbled at the courage it takes to write. For many years I kept a blog read by only a handful of very supportive people, and you’d think that after sharing writing for so long with perfect strangers, writing would have gotten easier. Actually, it got harder. In fact, at one point I was so paralyzed, I just stopped writing altogether. It was just too vulnerable. There was no trust there anymore, and I attributed any courage I had had to my youthful ignorance.

However, life continues, as it inevitably does, and there is still this pang to write, and it grows stronger and strong…

Adventure

Another painting I loved making. I had so much fun just layering paint and swirling about.

Adventure has been a big part of my world as of late. In fact, writing this after a long day of skiiing. Where I used to shy away from leaving the house, I've been doing the opposite. Finally really getting to know my beautiful state and bask in its beauty-- hiking to the top of many peaks--sometimes limping the last stretches back to the car. Took my girls camping on the beach without a 'man'  and was so proud when I got the campfire started multiple times. The girls had their doubts I could do it. It was nice to prove them wrong! My most favorite was the day I drove 5 hours to the closest passport office on a wing and a prayer to get a same-day passport (wing and a prayer because they tell you you can drive all that way, but that there is no guarantee they can/will help you) so I could accept an invitation to see the woman's soccer world cup, and within a week was in Vancouver…

Pillow Talk

Today I felt the familiar pangs of conversing with my body, it forever unyielding to my demands that it shape itself pretty now. That it chase itself back to its few glory days.

I tell my body that I would be ready to appreciate those days of yore now that I know what I missed while vying for the shapes and sizes of the other women around me.

Over and over my mind and I have run this particular proclamation to my body.

Then, we are good on our road, until the mind closes in and starts to overtake my strides.

You'll never make it there, you are too far gone, it taunts. It is too late.It isn't possible for you.

Then, so predictable--it attacks the most vulnerable part of me. The part I hide, keep covered, feel sure is my perfect disgrace: my belly.

The scale tipped in favor of shame today. Shame that I'd let the house of my being become so run down. That I'd let myself use food to comfort me, pick me up, enhance experience-- and that in the process I'd packed on the ext…