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Showing posts from August, 2012

My Daughter and Me: Teaching Love, Learning Love, Being Love

Photo by Ian Britton

I am experiencing an opening in my life, of truly sitting in a not knowing place. Not knowing meaning that the same old rules don't apply. It gives over to love. And the more I allow it, the more it gives over to love. It is mind blowing, and really completely irrational as far as cause and effect. There is no real logic to it, and yet, over and over again, there is a magic that opens the heart and deepens the love.

Although I've been talking and writing about this place of freedom from the rules for a while now, and how it opens us up to seeing the world in a different way, I would say that I have truly just begun to experience it--in moments--awake moments, when I let go of all judgement, or rather, it lets go of me.

I am in awe at how layered it is to wake up, how it just deepens and deepens, how we are only as open as our psyche will allow to a new reality, and how it really is just working through the same things over and over. It moves us to hit the …

Elephant in the Pool: A Mother's Cry for a Village

A sense of loneliness so complete. Speaking out into the world as though behind glass. Nobody can hear me. Nobody wants to hear me.

Nothing can give you this feeling more than parenting.
As I tell me kids for the umpteenth time to get out of the pool, my children dive down under the water, pretending they don't hear me.

Powerless. 
Not knowing if I should let go, or hold on. 
Public or private, there are eyes on you--and if not eyes, there are ears (maybe even just your own) perked up and waiting--wondering what will you do? How will you get yourself out of this one?
And sometimes it seems that nobody can see it, but me. That elephant taking up the entire pool. My children sliding down the trunk--jumping off its backside. Nobody can see it but me.
We pretend I am alone in this one. We pretend so well, that I am sure it is true. 
I want to let go, to jump into the pool and join my kids and the elephant, but I'm so used to vying for control, from the chaos of having children, th…