Saffron Flower

There are experiences that you never forget.

In their newborn moment, they hold a deep significance, but as all sacred moments, their intensity fades with time. 
That is, until you circle round to an unexpected happening--perhaps you are shaken a bit-- and these faded memories become dislodged and reemerge for you to gaze upon in wonder. 
Memories from time past, lovingly unearthed from the vast garden of our soul, ready to let us partake of the preciousness of existence, and how it has always been weaving itself within and throughout our story. 
The past links up with the present to show you how you were not, are not, and never have been, alone.
Loved ones return into your awareness as though they've been there all along, just invisible, until the spark of memory would bring them back--now that they are needed.

Moments that shine back at you, when they would carry the brightest light for your night sky...
Sitting in a quaint little home in Le Mans, France. I'd become a…

I've been avoiding this post.

Who knows what will spill out when I open this topic? I am not afraid for you, but I am afraid for me.

Could I lose myself in this pool of sadness, not because I would drown in it, but because I might forget to stop holding my breath.

You see that quote at the top of my blog? I've decided that it would be more accurate for me, in this moment, if it read:

"Thou hast the seeds of all-embracing life within thyself--if, and only if, you, my beloved, are here--and if not with me, then, at the least, alive and well in the flesh--vibrant and joyously walking your path to peace."

Isn't that what would have been written, had the author known the experience of our love, the one that changed the entire landscape of my world in less words than it took your loved ones to honor your memory in the morning paper.

Without you here, I've lost all contact with the ground, with the past, with the present, with the future, where one day you'd com…