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Showing posts from January, 2012

Clear

Image by Fantasy Art 3D Wallpapers, digital art pictures gallery. 

The urge to clear, move, and purge is very strong right now. I've finally decided that I am worth it, to create beauty and flow in my life all over the place! This in itself is so new. I'm pushing myself to do more. I am holding myself accountable.

And yet, I am understanding that leaning too far this way just becomes another vice grip of wanting control that dams the flow just as leaning too far into allowing yourself to do nothing begins to lose vitality.

In this control mind, there is a want to fix and rearrange and clear, and there is an angry and judgmental energy that wants to get up and push people and things out of the way to get it done. It resists the flow, pushing the ability to allow the flow into some unnamed moment in the future, when the path is spic and span.

This morning I felt restricted choosing my clothes, feeling ready to bag them all away for charity, and run out to buy new ones, because I de…

Experiencing Life Differently

Image by Moonchilde

In this moment, there is a familiar stirring. It comes from a clear place, a place of gratitude, love and acceptance, and it is telling me that it is okay to fall head over heels in love with all of who I am. It speaks of the possibility, if for no other reason than as a huge, indulgent gift to me--no need to earn it, to justify a reward. It is for free.

And there is nothing selfish about it, although, I know there are those who condemn this putting yourself first-- and heaven forbid falling in love with yourself. Yet, there are so many who do not condemn it, and I think they are becoming the rule more than the exception.

There are many who bless this process, because they see first hand, how their fear of putting themselves first, shut out life for them and their families, and in the end shut out life for everyone around them. It was a struggle to keep the candle lit, and it wore on everyone. They saw first hand how putting themselves in a place to be adored and expa…

Thriving Words

Photo by Michael Haber


My power words for the year!

Engage. As in engage in life. No more standing by. No more waiting for a better, braver day-- for anything.

The past couple years I found my spirit dying, because even though I had woken up in the past several years to new possibilities, I came to a point where I could no longer engage in life, because in letting go, so much was released and changed, but the applications of any of the changes were still so new and challenging, and with increased awareness, there were those daunting core challenges brought up for clearing that were the source of most of the blocking.  Ouch!

As depths were probed, big chunks needed to be broken off, and landscapes needed to be rearranged. In the middle of it all, it was a mess, and I was hanging on for dear life! It seemed impossible for the old and the new to co-exist in a peaceful way.  Yet, I let myself want more. And life dangled a whole new set of possibilities, which showed me that I couldn't go …

M.I.A.

Woman Kissing Soldier Goodbye JC Leyendecker
May 19, 1917


I wrote them another letter today. They are getting simpler and simpler. I've got it down to a few sentences now. It isn't that my heart isn't in it. It's just that something tells me that they don't open my letters anymore.
You've been gone for so long now...
Well, le'ts not focus on that. Perhaps you'd appreciate hearing the simplicity of the letter I sent them. I know you always found me a little over the top--perhaps even a little melodramatic. So, listen to the efficiency in this!
Dear Sirs, and perhaps a Madam or two,

I am writing you to find out if you have any information pertaining to my missing soldier. He's been reported M.I.A. for sometime now. Realistically, is there any hope that he's coming back? And if it isn't in the cards, how do I even begin to go on, after. all. this. time.
And just so I know, and can help you spread the word like a good citizen, do you know when this war…

Birthing the Self

The Birth of Venus Sandro Botticelli
Recently I had a dream that I was very, very pregnant and going into labor. The labor pains were real and vivid, exactly how I'd experienced them in my waking life. If you have been in labor, you know what I am talking about. There is nothing that I have experienced physically, that approximates the pains of labor in the body. So, it was very interesting to experience them in my dream, almost seven years after last having a child. I'd completely forgotten the sensations.

In the dream I was hailing a taxi, and none of them were stopping. Finally a woman stopped, and helped me into the car. She didn't drive me to the hospital, however. She drove me to some sort of show, and pointed out a spectacle of a woman moving around in a spiral labyrinth.

Every time I had a contraction, I found myself leaning into perfect strangers--holding an arm for support, steadying myself by leaning into a body for stability--closing my eyes, but aware that I need…

Bloomtopia

So much exists in the realm of feeling.

To be understood, one has to be met with one who understands. Then the communication has a landing place in another, which gives it vibrant life.

Communion, like I never knew could exist. Not just a story to share, but a joining, reverberating in the body.

All the places I've found safe landing... All those who have spoken to me of finding home...

How transformation has triumphed!

How the floodgates have been burst open, and change has manifest everywhere, defying gravity in the most splendid ways.

Those who have traveled with me, or tenderly in my heart, circling round and round to the same moments in time, finding healing, finding a precious bud of hope, spiraling round and round until the bud becomes evergreen faith, watching down on us from such heights,

And in the valley, we experience ourselves simultaneously as the bud and the tree.

All it was ever about, was learning to hear the testimony of new life, always there, as limitless potential,

To …