Skip to main content

Here. Now.

I am Here, present, right here, right now, and now, and now, and now. I haven't often been Here. Once upon a time I had never been Here. It was a destination completely unknown to me. I heard talk of this place, but it was like that country I knew I'd never travel to, mostly because I probably wouldn't have the time, the money, or frankly, the desire. Scared of the natives. Didn't want to be a stranger stranger.

I danced around this place called Here. I can say danced, because I am Here right now, and this place is only loving. From any other destination, you might have called it running scared, jagged attempts at walking a straight line, a desperate plight to connect the dots to find the answers. It feels like living in a sealed glass jar, banging your fists and screaming at the top of your lungs, seeing everyone and everything just outside, but nobody can hear you--or worse, you believe they can hear your, but are ignoring you.

These days I am catching myself doing this little dance around myself.

For longer durations, I know what it is to be Here, now. And the natives are friendly! We are holding hands, dancing, listening to good guitar. Loves me some good guitar. We are experiencing the same ball of wax as though it were a crystal ball!

You kind of wonder why you waited so long to get your ticket, get the off the couch, and get yourself to the airport!

I'm moving Here. I've got my bags packed, and much of the time I leave at least one foot Here. Step in quite often with two.

And I see You Here. God, you're beautiful, spectacular.

And all that pain was so worth it, the fire under my ass to finally get off the couch and come for a visit. I promise I won't stay away too long, cause I don't want to miss what is Here. Found my oasis, my tropical playground, and I'm having so much fun, I don't even miss there. Here is where it is at.

And to think all it took was to get the hell down off my cross.

My friend Karen just told me about the Tom Waits song, Come On Up to the House. Here it is for your listening pleasure.

"Come down off the cross," He croons, "We can use the wood." Genius.

Come to find that all that wood makes a mighty nice fire--sittin' around it, holdin' hands, kids roastin' marshmallows, firelight glowin' in our eyes, gratuitous laughter, and is that singing?

Mighty nice.

Lookin' forward to seeing you Here. And bring your wood. We can use it.


  1. I'm bringing a nice stack of wood for the fire. Thanks for the invitation!

    Freedom! Isn't it just surreal to think that you can just do it? You have it. You are it.

    You are radiant! I honor your courage, your strength, your commitment to love, and your willingness to let yourself shine, here and now.

  2. HERE is so where it's at, Brooke. And you are so where it's at. From Here, I see you too--how perfectly spectacular you are.

    I picture us Here, all warm and toasty by the fire, holding hands, laughing our asses off, leaning in--being every bit of our fucking beautiful Selves.

    Love and more love to you, my dancing, firelight-glowin' friend.

  3. Love it! Let's bring chocolate bars and graham crackers for those roasting marshmallows and make 'smores!

    Enjoying your questions, Brooke. Feels more like a conversation with a friend than an interview. It is giving me a chance to reflect.

  4. Hey Brooke!

    It's been ages. This Tom Waits' album is a favorite of ours. Love "experiencing this same damn ball of wax as though it were a crystal ball!"

    Enjoy your oasis and perhaps we'll cross physical paths again soon.


  5. I've often fantasized about moving there too...with the turquoise waters, warm breezes, and soothing guitar music, but somehow I always get lost on my way there. I keep telling myself that it's easy to find, and I've even written down the directions, but I wrote them on the back of a sales receipt for Home Depot and I can't remember where I put it. I needed nails because my cross was getting a little creaky. I should have bought some Crazy Glue too...that stuff works like magic.
    The next time I visit I'm going to pay extra special attention to road signs and land marks. Sometimes I wonder if this place really exists or if I made it up...this is getting old.
    Thanks for reminding me that this place is real Brooke, I was beginning to think that it was all in my head;)


Post a Comment

♥ Thank you for taking the time connect with me here. ♥

Popular posts from this blog

RIP Poltergeist

After over ten years of an incredibly intense journey as a seeker, I find myself lying fallow. Taking a rest. When I first discovered this uncomfortable fact — threat to the hamster wheel that was my spiritual rat race, I surrendered for dead, but something wouldn’t let that fact sit as truth. I was lying fallow, but this implied that after a good rest, fruit could follow. This had nothing to do with death.

I am humbled at the courage it takes to write. For many years I kept a blog read by only a handful of very supportive people, and you’d think that after sharing writing for so long with perfect strangers, writing would have gotten easier. Actually, it got harder. In fact, at one point I was so paralyzed, I just stopped writing altogether. It was just too vulnerable. There was no trust there anymore, and I attributed any courage I had had to my youthful ignorance.

However, life continues, as it inevitably does, and there is still this pang to write, and it grows stronger and strong…


Another painting I loved making. I had so much fun just layering paint and swirling about.

Adventure has been a big part of my world as of late. In fact, writing this after a long day of skiiing. Where I used to shy away from leaving the house, I've been doing the opposite. Finally really getting to know my beautiful state and bask in its beauty-- hiking to the top of many peaks--sometimes limping the last stretches back to the car. Took my girls camping on the beach without a 'man'  and was so proud when I got the campfire started multiple times. The girls had their doubts I could do it. It was nice to prove them wrong! My most favorite was the day I drove 5 hours to the closest passport office on a wing and a prayer to get a same-day passport (wing and a prayer because they tell you you can drive all that way, but that there is no guarantee they can/will help you) so I could accept an invitation to see the woman's soccer world cup, and within a week was in Vancouver…

Pillow Talk

Today I felt the familiar pangs of conversing with my body, it forever unyielding to my demands that it shape itself pretty now. That it chase itself back to its few glory days.

I tell my body that I would be ready to appreciate those days of yore now that I know what I missed while vying for the shapes and sizes of the other women around me.

Over and over my mind and I have run this particular proclamation to my body.

Then, we are good on our road, until the mind closes in and starts to overtake my strides.

You'll never make it there, you are too far gone, it taunts. It is too late.It isn't possible for you.

Then, so predictable--it attacks the most vulnerable part of me. The part I hide, keep covered, feel sure is my perfect disgrace: my belly.

The scale tipped in favor of shame today. Shame that I'd let the house of my being become so run down. That I'd let myself use food to comfort me, pick me up, enhance experience-- and that in the process I'd packed on the ext…