When I began this blog, I was just stumbling on the heart of a new way of being. It was all very new, ground breaking for me in my life, and leaning toward an intellectual understanding and synthesis of matters over mind--in other words, there was the idea that I just needed to become proficient at tackling the mind.
Tonight, I was reminded by my friend Nige, at what has been behind all the words on this blog all along--the stories, the proclamations, the testimony--even if at times, I got caught up in my own war stories.
This all began as heeding the call to wake up.
I realize that this new way of being is becoming less intellectual, and often living and breathing in the moment-- deconstructing stories, finding relief, and Love, sometimes in an instant.
I am humbled by how easy it is becoming to choose love, and how easily it is being reciprocated. Seems that when an authentic love is extended, there is nothing left to fight.
This morning I had some Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door. I saw them wielding their Bibles, and fancy literature, and I felt a slight twinge of regret about the fact that I'd never gotten around to that no soliciting of any kind sign. I also felt a little excitement. Because I often don't even know what I will say or how I will react these days, and well, that just makes it kind of fun. I just wait, and tune into the perfect reality show, Me, Without All My Crap. It can be surprising at times to see what takes hold, because it isn't a me I recognize.
My kids were wide-eyed and bushy-tailed to have visitors, and it just felt right to go ahead and open the door.
The action of answering the door felt natural and deliberate. Where were all the sensations of anxiety? There was no desire to engage in any intellectual or spiritual debate, nor was there any need for them to see themselves from the outside, as birds of prey--none of that existed. There was only an openness to the experience, and the strong, clear knowing that it is only an illusion that we are really separated by beliefs, conditioned ideas and stereotypes.
The gentlemen wasted no time in pulling out the big guns, and cordially asked me my stance on evolution vs. creationism, right in front of my children.
The sun was shining bright, and my kids waited with ready ears for my response. Did I think the world was created by God, or that we evolved from single-cell organisms?
It was so interesting to be put in this situation. (No pressure with my kids waiting to hear my response, or anything).
However,the moment I responded feels frozen in time, because the response felt outside of time, but inside of me, as me (whatever I am).
I simply said, "You know, I think that nobody really knows for sure, but all that matters is Love. But if someone is interested in studying either theory, that could be really fun."
I was a little surprised at what hopped out of my mouth. Truth be told, I was always rooting a little more for the fish that had grown legs on the back of cars--but I realized that needing to take any side was long gone. It just didn't matter--no more fighting over semantics. No more fighting over personal interests and preferences. Let it be.
What was beautiful was the man's response. He just stared at me for a moment, like I'd give him a fresh glass of lemonade, that he wasn't expecting. He thanked me for what I'd said--like maybe I'd reminded him of something.
And that was it. So simple, and so different from the heaviness I used to feel interacting with those I deemed 'a-little-too-fanatical'.
I took his literature, because it had pretty pictures, and who knows, I might find it interesting to read about the different camps.
He took my words, my acceptance of him, and perhaps a new place where we could meet, outside of the debate.
I like this place outside of the loop.
It allows for all of it to be here on this planet, and for us to enjoy all of the rich stories we've invented, to create amazing things to experience-- lots of interesting and intricate concepts to keep our minds busy with.
But perhaps the time is upon is, when we will no longer be asleep, slave to protecting our stories at all costs.
Our stories will be merely preferences, will make life interesting, and no longer will our ideas and beliefs separate us or bring us to the battle fields.
I think both Jehovah and Darwin would approve of that!