Skip to main content

Showing Up

Today, I honor all of the resistance I've had all my life, to showing up to interact with people.

I honor a sensitivity in me that perceived a world disconnected and blind. I honor a part of me that wanted to shield myself from a society that was doing a lot on the surface to keep up with appearances and latest trends, but felt devoid of substance or meaning.

I honor the part of me that wondered why nothing was ever really being said, when so much air space was being taken up by words.

I honor the part of me that was afraid of what I couldn't find or feel--of a surface love that felt so fleeting and dangerous.

I honor the part of me that was always seeking something deeper within interactions--a love that didn't feel marketed, a connection that didn't feel contrived.

I honor the part of me that has been intent on digging deeper with people, creating a safe space to share much more of ourselves and our experiences, to feel our relationships deepen through this. I honor those who have wept the truest tears in honoring this in me. I honor those who have shown up in the same way for me, that have been brave, bold and trusting.

I honor the space we have created together, in uncovering patterns and personalities, that have helped us to see each other and release each other--to drop into a space of love, even when we can't find any common ground.

These have been my most treasured moments, when another dear soul and I begin to see our situation so clearly, our conflict so perfectly-- we see our part in it, and the other's part in it. We see what we are chained to, what the other is chained to, and our minds begin to stall.

Then the smiles break out, because with the malfunction of our minds, a connection rises to the surface that is warm, syrupy and light as air--and most of all, what I've always been waiting for-- that deep rich connection where in the end, nothing could get in the way of love. (Perhaps this has been the only mission worthy of all the hype).

Stories drop away. Only love remains. And if stories resurface, they are never seen in the same way--rather than the walls becoming higher, they begin to break down, and open healing and joining in ways that promise greater ease of movement, greater satisfaction in living.

I honor the part of me that stood back from giving credence to the image of empty connections, to ladder climbing and ass kissing-- holding out for something REAL.

I honor the part of me that held out for the day that a few humble connections would blossom into relationships beginning to access something unfathomable--that would allow life to be lived on another level.

To love beyond bounds--bringing healing--trusting--a new way of being--rediscovering a life to be lived that connected the surface 'doings' to the heart of being.

To bravely show up, trusting in love as the potential for any and all transformation, growth, release and deeper understanding of one another.

I honor all the parts of me who have loved in any and every way--that questioned, reassessed, went against the grain, and let go.

I forget all this goodness sometimes. I get stuck in pursuits I know have no meaning or longevity-- out of fear.

I am reminded that we are not meant to do living alone. Even though alone has felt easier at times.

Showing up is important. It is with others that the real work begins, when so much has already been let go. This is where the real trust begins, the real opening to being loved, and to loving beyond measure.

And in those moments when I feel that anxiety tar me over, making me scared to death to show up with all the colors and contradictions of people--afraid I will be met with  more disconnect and emptiness, I will remind myself, that it is always worth it--that every soul craves release, and that we are all showing up for the same thing, even if we don't know it yet.

And in the end, this showing up together is what breaks up our most suffocating blocks, what helps us to see a little more clearly, and what begins to create more certainty that a new world will take hold.


  1. I honor YOU, my dear friend, and the way you keep showing up with all your REAl.

    You totally rock.


Post a Comment

♥ Thank you for taking the time connect with me here. ♥

Popular posts from this blog

Here With You

Photo by Daria Obymaha on Sinking lips into your tiny round cheeks, I'm home. Holding your tiny head to my heart, caressing my chin to your downy baby 'chicken fluff' we'll come to call it later, I'm home. Taking in your baby magic scent, I'm home. Pressing nose to nose, forehead to forehead, staring wide-eyed into each other's eyes, I'm home. Toting little bum and dangling legs around my middle, I'm home. Filled with purpose as you point where to go, what you see, I'm home. Your eyes, new windows to a world I thought I knew, I'm home. Holding you with fever, picking you up when you fall, I'm home. Navigating the years between, boxes of your firsts, every paint brush and pen stroke a miracle, I'm home. Saving pottery penguins, turtles, shiny red roses, a burrito with all the fixings immortalized in clay, I'm home. Kid sister fruit and craft stand on the corner, change clinking in coin purse, mag


Photo by Ben Herbert on I’m standing on a cliff overlooking the water’s edge. The sky is present, hanging there in its vastness, holding this moment with symphonic strains of gray and electric buzz. Watching, suspended, sensing. I see to both sides of me vast white cliffs carved out by relentless grasping of the ocean extending down the coastline. The earth where I am standing up above gives just the right yield and welcome, with its soft grass and dainty yellow flowers, falsely giving the impression of delicacy, when anyone can see that they are hardy to withstand the harshness of forces here. There is an undeniable tightness of gravity here, pinning me down, tugging at me, slowing down my step. I feel as if this force could just sweep me away with the littlest of a flick, like an ant off the table. It screams danger while it beckons. My life had been recently taking on new grander design dimensions when this place and I met. Dating a new man, after being a singl

I want to remind me...

My thoughts drift back to when I was a child. I had a little toy kitchen sink and stove, no nouveau riche set, à la pottery barn, but very basic and snap together. It was set up in the unfinished basement on top of orange Muppet shag rugs that covered some of the cold concrete. There was a giant TV that looked like it had been built in a giant dresser. One top of its console lifted to play vinyl records and the other to play LP’s. Look it up. My kitchen was set up in the corner by the window well, where I could see cobwebs and spiders filtering the outside light shining through. I don’t remember playing much as a kid, but I do remember cleaning up the toys stored in giant Tang cans down there--organizing and reorganizing them at my mom's bidding, to rest the perfectly sorted toys in glowing metallic green cylinders, on pastel yellow metal shelves, the quiet yellow that sort of softened the Muppet rug domination, but added a utilitarian feel to the unfinished basement. I shoul