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Showing Up

Today, I honor all of the resistance I've had all my life, to showing up to interact with people.

I honor a sensitivity in me that perceived a world disconnected and blind. I honor a part of me that wanted to shield myself from a society that was doing a lot on the surface to keep up with appearances and latest trends, but felt devoid of substance or meaning.

I honor the part of me that wondered why nothing was ever really being said, when so much air space was being taken up by words.

I honor the part of me that was afraid of what I couldn't find or feel--of a surface love that felt so fleeting and dangerous.

I honor the part of me that was always seeking something deeper within interactions--a love that didn't feel marketed, a connection that didn't feel contrived.

I honor the part of me that has been intent on digging deeper with people, creating a safe space to share much more of ourselves and our experiences, to feel our relationships deepen through this. I honor those who have wept the truest tears in honoring this in me. I honor those who have shown up in the same way for me, that have been brave, bold and trusting.

I honor the space we have created together, in uncovering patterns and personalities, that have helped us to see each other and release each other--to drop into a space of love, even when we can't find any common ground.

These have been my most treasured moments, when another dear soul and I begin to see our situation so clearly, our conflict so perfectly-- we see our part in it, and the other's part in it. We see what we are chained to, what the other is chained to, and our minds begin to stall.

Then the smiles break out, because with the malfunction of our minds, a connection rises to the surface that is warm, syrupy and light as air--and most of all, what I've always been waiting for-- that deep rich connection where in the end, nothing could get in the way of love. (Perhaps this has been the only mission worthy of all the hype).

Stories drop away. Only love remains. And if stories resurface, they are never seen in the same way--rather than the walls becoming higher, they begin to break down, and open healing and joining in ways that promise greater ease of movement, greater satisfaction in living.

I honor the part of me that stood back from giving credence to the image of empty connections, to ladder climbing and ass kissing-- holding out for something REAL.

I honor the part of me that held out for the day that a few humble connections would blossom into relationships beginning to access something unfathomable--that would allow life to be lived on another level.

To love beyond bounds--bringing healing--trusting--a new way of being--rediscovering a life to be lived that connected the surface 'doings' to the heart of being.

To bravely show up, trusting in love as the potential for any and all transformation, growth, release and deeper understanding of one another.

I honor all the parts of me who have loved in any and every way--that questioned, reassessed, went against the grain, and let go.

I forget all this goodness sometimes. I get stuck in pursuits I know have no meaning or longevity-- out of fear.

I am reminded that we are not meant to do living alone. Even though alone has felt easier at times.

Showing up is important. It is with others that the real work begins, when so much has already been let go. This is where the real trust begins, the real opening to being loved, and to loving beyond measure.

And in those moments when I feel that anxiety tar me over, making me scared to death to show up with all the colors and contradictions of people--afraid I will be met with  more disconnect and emptiness, I will remind myself, that it is always worth it--that every soul craves release, and that we are all showing up for the same thing, even if we don't know it yet.

And in the end, this showing up together is what breaks up our most suffocating blocks, what helps us to see a little more clearly, and what begins to create more certainty that a new world will take hold.

Comments

  1. I honor YOU, my dear friend, and the way you keep showing up with all your REAl.

    You totally rock.

    ReplyDelete

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