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New Rules (the world!)

There is a softness I walk upon.  I can't see too far ahead,. I don't want to. There are shapes and symbols all around me, but I can't make sense of any of them. It doesn't matter though. Some part of me reads them just fine.

In fact, I don't have to do much these days. Seems something is driving me where I need to go, in every moment. I am enjoying so much more ease of movement--so much more flow.

The other day I found myself playing by new rules. In a moment when I would have normally felt on guard, I felt myself smiling, rather dumbly, completely oblivious to the daggers being thrown at me by way of the eyes.

It was only a few minutes later when I walked away, that I realized I had been 'in trouble'.

But there was no squirming. The daggers had no target. They lost trajectory in the air and dropped flaccid on the pavement.

I had literally forgotten the rules, been rule-less, for a moment. I could not sense that I was in trouble, because there was nothing to be in trouble for--because those rules (that used to run my every move before) no longer existed in my experience. They didn't exist in memory either, at least for that moment.

It was only when I walked away, that it occurred to me  that I had been oblivious to the criticism that I normally would have been bracing myself for.

This was an unprecedented experience for me.

It was so disorienting to not be subject to rules that defined and shaped my experience, that I wondered if I might be losing it.

And maybe I am. But to have lived even a small moment of my life without the same familiar confines-- that was incredible!

What would it be like to live this way for more than a moment?! There was no pretending, no wishful thinking, no trying to suppress limitation--it just didn't exist, for that moment.

I'll tell you, it was like being a different person entirely.

Without a set of memories so air-tight, I was born anew in the moment. I smiled dumbly at being found out, not knowing I was being found out, because I was a child again, without a deeply ingrained subset of rules to be afraid of. It wasn't in my repertoire to feel guilty because someone might not approve of my behavior.

What is most amazing to me is that I did not sit down and employ any tool to experience this. It just appeared in my experience, or perhaps the experiencing of no rules was unobscured, because nothing was in its way--no conditioning could stick to the Teflon clarity of no-thing-ness. The limiting thoughts didn't live in this space, because nothing was there to fuel them.

I dare say, this is what others, including myself, are calling presence. So self-contained, it is, it holds no rules, just a whole lot of open space for Love, Love, Love, a whole lot of heart, and the soft kissable cheeks of a newborn.

I'm inspired to keep getting out of the way.

Comments

  1. Oh, dear me. I'm inspired too--fully, totally. By you, your words, your BE-ing-ness. I can feel your love and presence like I can feel the sun.

    To being born anew in every moment! Holy moly! The beauty is so bright.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe you are losing it. The good news Brooke is that you have to lose it to find it again. Fortunately, you have the tools of awareness, surrender and choice to help you along the way. Hows about you astral travel to the UK to discuss the matter of your BRILLIANCE over a cup of green tea with Elloa and myself.

    Love Nige X

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