Skip to main content

New Rules (the world!)

There is a softness I walk upon.  I can't see too far ahead,. I don't want to. There are shapes and symbols all around me, but I can't make sense of any of them. It doesn't matter though. Some part of me reads them just fine.

In fact, I don't have to do much these days. Seems something is driving me where I need to go, in every moment. I am enjoying so much more ease of movement--so much more flow.

The other day I found myself playing by new rules. In a moment when I would have normally felt on guard, I felt myself smiling, rather dumbly, completely oblivious to the daggers being thrown at me by way of the eyes.

It was only a few minutes later when I walked away, that I realized I had been 'in trouble'.

But there was no squirming. The daggers had no target. They lost trajectory in the air and dropped flaccid on the pavement.

I had literally forgotten the rules, been rule-less, for a moment. I could not sense that I was in trouble, because there was nothing to be in trouble for--because those rules (that used to run my every move before) no longer existed in my experience. They didn't exist in memory either, at least for that moment.

It was only when I walked away, that it occurred to me  that I had been oblivious to the criticism that I normally would have been bracing myself for.

This was an unprecedented experience for me.

It was so disorienting to not be subject to rules that defined and shaped my experience, that I wondered if I might be losing it.

And maybe I am. But to have lived even a small moment of my life without the same familiar confines-- that was incredible!

What would it be like to live this way for more than a moment?! There was no pretending, no wishful thinking, no trying to suppress limitation--it just didn't exist, for that moment.

I'll tell you, it was like being a different person entirely.

Without a set of memories so air-tight, I was born anew in the moment. I smiled dumbly at being found out, not knowing I was being found out, because I was a child again, without a deeply ingrained subset of rules to be afraid of. It wasn't in my repertoire to feel guilty because someone might not approve of my behavior.

What is most amazing to me is that I did not sit down and employ any tool to experience this. It just appeared in my experience, or perhaps the experiencing of no rules was unobscured, because nothing was in its way--no conditioning could stick to the Teflon clarity of no-thing-ness. The limiting thoughts didn't live in this space, because nothing was there to fuel them.

I dare say, this is what others, including myself, are calling presence. So self-contained, it is, it holds no rules, just a whole lot of open space for Love, Love, Love, a whole lot of heart, and the soft kissable cheeks of a newborn.

I'm inspired to keep getting out of the way.


  1. Oh, dear me. I'm inspired too--fully, totally. By you, your words, your BE-ing-ness. I can feel your love and presence like I can feel the sun.

    To being born anew in every moment! Holy moly! The beauty is so bright.

  2. Maybe you are losing it. The good news Brooke is that you have to lose it to find it again. Fortunately, you have the tools of awareness, surrender and choice to help you along the way. Hows about you astral travel to the UK to discuss the matter of your BRILLIANCE over a cup of green tea with Elloa and myself.

    Love Nige X


Post a Comment

♥ Thank you for taking the time connect with me here. ♥

Popular posts from this blog


Okay, I am just here writing, because I can't quite tell you how important it is that I have full permission to write, right here today, with this energy that I am holding. To stand strong in the truth of my being, that has felt quite weak and wavering in moments, and equally strong and clear in moments, as if these parts are truly at war with one another, and I am watching to see which one will win out, but the funny division between the two is merely this, the more I let the two up for air, wrestling and churning up and me trying to find which team is going to win, which one is going to end up on top, there is just simply me, sitting on the sidelines, and really tired of watching the back and the forth, and so, I just sit and put my hand in the sand I am sitting on the beach, and feel the texture of the sand, feel it running through my hand, and there is just this amazingness of this sand moving through my hand, and it feels timeless and I begin to see shapes and outlines in the…

RIP Poltergeist

After over ten years of an incredibly intense journey as a seeker, I find myself lying fallow. Taking a rest. When I first discovered this uncomfortable fact — threat to the hamster wheel that was my spiritual rat race, I surrendered for dead, but something wouldn’t let that fact sit as truth. I was lying fallow, but this implied that after a good rest, fruit could follow. This had nothing to do with death.

I am humbled at the courage it takes to write. For many years I kept a blog read by only a handful of very supportive people, and you’d think that after sharing writing for so long with perfect strangers, writing would have gotten easier. Actually, it got harder. In fact, at one point I was so paralyzed, I just stopped writing altogether. It was just too vulnerable. There was no trust there anymore, and I attributed any courage I had had to my youthful ignorance.

However, life continues, as it inevitably does, and there is still this pang to write, and it grows stronger and strong…

Big Red Bow & Boat

The next installment in a boat series, I guess. I just loved drawing this one. It just sort of appeared one day, and I loved the hues. Thanks Sharpie, for mixing up some alluring colors for me.

It didn't start out as night, but thanks to a sharpie mishap... but I am coming to ADORE those mishaps, because my favorite part of this little drawing is that it is night!

I also love drawing these women from behind with big bows. I love the mystery of whether the boat is coming in or going out. Perhaps it is all those Victoria Holt novels I read as a girl. Thanks mom!

It is fun to just enjoy looking at art I've created, not because they are good, but because they evoke something for me in my experience--something that just feels simply a little bit more alive--tiny sparks of wonder that make me feel curious about this human existence, and our desire to create--something wordless. Sometimes I think it is the closest way that I get to brush up to my personal experience as a human. Beca…