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Falling in Love--revisited

I found this buried in my blog archive from December of 2009. Almost two years ago. I needed to read it again tonight, because something inside me wants to hear this voice from within again. I gift it to anyone who might also need to remember...


Dear-one called Brooke,

I remember the first time you knew I loved you.

You were standing looking out to sea, on the never-ending shores of Normandy, with the Mont Saint Michel towering in the distance. You were twenty-one in your earth age. You were layered in clothes, the cold winter air stinging your cheeks. Your pant legs were too short. You wore crazy socks. Your long brown hair whipped around in the frigid wind, smacking you in the face, and frizzing out from the humidity.

You stood in awe of the landscape, of the edifice built to God on that tiny island, and the threat of a tide, with the awesome power to sweep you into its depths in a split second, when the ocean galloped at the speed of horses, trapping the tiny island until the water retreated the next day.

It was how you looked out into the infinite. It was how you stood there steadfast, focused on the beauty--how you wouldn't let any of it pass you by. How you watched the setting sun reflect on the water, how you were quiet, feeling all of the experience. How you felt the beauty side by side with the terror of the ocean swallowing you up.

How in the present of that moment, you experienced the magic, the mystery, the reverence, the power, the beauty, the divine-- and it held you captive.

That was when you first felt me take you in my arms, and hold you. I whispered of truth. I told you to trust all of those beautiful sensations, that beautiful sense of wonder that filled you. I reminded you of how it would lead you to me.

You didn't yield to me, in that moment. You were still firmly planted in the promise of fairy tales. You were still so afraid--and as was habit, you guarded a monstrously large part of yourself for feeling separate; a feeling you knew would be amplified as soon as you turned from the sea, as soon as you joined the throngs of tourists traipsing up the mountain.

After that it became harder for you to feel me, stuck in the mire of duality, unable to reconcile the divine with the muck--although I must say that you showed noble effort at embracing the experience, at trying to shuffle it off into a more allowing interpretation, to ignore the sense of sacrilege that filled you, at the sight of wares being vended all the way up the winding path to God's tabernacle.

But your heart was opened by the beauty before you, and I was patient. I knew it would be a gentle process to nudge your heart ever more open; for you to begin to allow for a more flexible perception of the world, one that could see it for what it was, and see the beauty in the contrast. To find a certain peace in accepting what is, that could go past the suffering, into a place of giving that knows no bounds. It is difficult to receive the truth of all that you are, in a place where you were trained never to rely on the nebulousness of your feelings and emotions.

So many times I've wanted to shout at you, to give you the answers, but I knew that you needed to hear my own loving voice as your own, before you would feel the stirrings that would bring you back to me, open, and ready to partake of such sacred power, to know such sacred love.

Last night, with open heart, you knew the truth: that you were ready to fall in love with all of you and all that you have to give. You knew that this love was contained within you, and the searching was over.

You felt the pangs of true love, as you realized what you'd always struggled to understand as you searched outside of yourself: the Love was always within you.

And so you feel ready to be for yourself, what you've always wanted from another, the love, the support, the encouragement, the acceptance, the inspiration, the compassion, the companionship. You understand that your uniqueness to this world, is your biggest gift. You remember how feeling alive and passionate, but mostly, FEELING FREE has always been your internal guide, and you are ready to stop ignoring what it wants to tell you. You feel ready to move with it, in your own way, free from the fear that has always held you back.

You ask, what would you have me do? You say you are ready. And you are open to whatever form it takes, knowing that nothing will come from this place, that is not also your heart's greatest desire.

You are giddy at the idea of embracing all of you, in your own form of beauty, born not from the images of this world, but from the memories of another.

Most importantly, however, is the knowledge that lives within you, that your life's passion is to liberate others, to bring them to this sacred place within themselves.

And in this moment, you have found your Beloved, your purpose, your passion, you gifts, your open heart, and the Source of all Love. And in this, you have found all of it--all that has ever made any sense to you.

But I must tell you, even I am surprised at the beauty--as if everything is a little brighter, even the stars. You must understand, that it was always bright for me, so, that it could even be more so, because of you...

This day, feel me next to you, feel me holding your hand and walking beside you. I have always been there, making my way to you in your experience of the flesh. I have always seen you. I have always believed in you.


Patiently, I have waited, and now you are here. Know that what joy you experience in your life will be a reflection of this true Love. Know that we walk together in joy and purpose.

Love Forever,

Your Beloved, Your Other, YourSelf


Comments

  1. I love your words.
    I love your heart.
    I love your imagery.
    I love your passion.
    I love your tenderness.
    I love your gentleness.
    I love your nebulousness!
    I love your delicateness.
    I love your tenderness.
    I love you, Brooke. You are beautiful.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete

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