Skip to main content

Love Song

Photo Credit J.Scott Bovitz

I am in love.

It is the weirdest thing! And there is no one to attribute this to. There is only me--no man of mystery has walked through my door--but I am in love, nonetheless!

So, it is possible to have the feeling, but not the guy. Wow.

Walking on the cold hard pavement, I feel soft and yielding to the hardness, warmed by it even.

The low dense cloud cover today feels as though it is merely holding me. No feelings of suffocation. No needing to run.

My lover, my life. It is that simple.

He sings to me on the radio. Today, it was Snow Patrol. Light up, light up, as if you have a choice, even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear...have heart, my dear, we're bound to be afraid...

He speaks to me through magical creations of others, and they take on a depth that was beyond me before. They literally leave me standing in awe--serious awe.

He speaks to me through the expression of possibilities, endless, for my own creations, for my own experience.

We live in the essence of both of our creations. He plays in paint, and when I close my eyes, I see his colored canvases--he likes to play with light. He hears my music. I hear his. We jam together. I read his words, and he mine--in the lyrics, in the classics, in the moderns, in the street signs.

With the walls down, all of it enters deep into the heart, maybe the solar plexus too, and there it hovers, absorbs, becomes-- lives and breathes. Uncovers a force-- a flame eternal, burning through--revealing ever clearer, ever more tangible-- a place of connection, a place to call home, no matter what is firing around us.

And all of what he shows me, what he tells me--what he points me to--what he makes me feel [long pause]

yes, makes me feel

becomes symbolic of something deeper working within, something way beyond the world of absolutes--something wanting to come out and play, wanting to experience the great magnitude of living, wanting to say something about all experience-- love, loss, hope, fear.

It does not favor sunshine over rain.

So, I walk as if he is there beside me.

It leaves me breathless--as if I can almost reach out and touch him. Like he is determined to make his presence known, but it doesn't matter that he isn't there, that I cannot see him.

For the moment, I don't feel as though he's missing.

And that's something.

Comments

  1. You, my friend, are a magician of words--totally, completely.

    "For the moment, I don't feel as though he's missing.

    And that's something."

    It really truly is something.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes!!! This just made my day Brooke! I love this post so much. I adore you so much. This should be made into a song. The most beautiful love song ever.

    You are a truly beautiful soul.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So beautiful, dear Brooke. The kind of beauty that is truth and truth that is beauty. I was also so moved by your posts about your mother's visit and her response. It makes me happy to know that she took the Wild Road photgraph.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brooke... when I converted to Christianity some years ago, this was the kind of experience that friends of mine were describing around me of their encounters with Christ.

    Your words speak to me on a very deep level about what is available to me every moment if I just turn within and seek the Great Lover.

    Thank you, thank you for opening my eyes x x x

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh my goodness, true goodness. All of your comments are such a gift. How there can be a home here at the flip of an on switch, still baffles me, but I am beginning to accept love in all its forms. Loving all of you...Thank you, deeply, from my heart.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

♥ Thank you for taking the time connect with me here. ♥

Popular posts from this blog

RIP Poltergeist

After over ten years of an incredibly intense journey as a seeker, I find myself lying fallow. Taking a rest. When I first discovered this uncomfortable fact — threat to the hamster wheel that was my spiritual rat race, I surrendered for dead, but something wouldn’t let that fact sit as truth. I was lying fallow, but this implied that after a good rest, fruit could follow. This had nothing to do with death.

I am humbled at the courage it takes to write. For many years I kept a blog read by only a handful of very supportive people, and you’d think that after sharing writing for so long with perfect strangers, writing would have gotten easier. Actually, it got harder. In fact, at one point I was so paralyzed, I just stopped writing altogether. It was just too vulnerable. There was no trust there anymore, and I attributed any courage I had had to my youthful ignorance.

However, life continues, as it inevitably does, and there is still this pang to write, and it grows stronger and strong…

Adventure

Another painting I loved making. I had so much fun just layering paint and swirling about.

Adventure has been a big part of my world as of late. In fact, writing this after a long day of skiiing. Where I used to shy away from leaving the house, I've been doing the opposite. Finally really getting to know my beautiful state and bask in its beauty-- hiking to the top of many peaks--sometimes limping the last stretches back to the car. Took my girls camping on the beach without a 'man'  and was so proud when I got the campfire started multiple times. The girls had their doubts I could do it. It was nice to prove them wrong! My most favorite was the day I drove 5 hours to the closest passport office on a wing and a prayer to get a same-day passport (wing and a prayer because they tell you you can drive all that way, but that there is no guarantee they can/will help you) so I could accept an invitation to see the woman's soccer world cup, and within a week was in Vancouver…

Pillow Talk

Today I felt the familiar pangs of conversing with my body, it forever unyielding to my demands that it shape itself pretty now. That it chase itself back to its few glory days.

I tell my body that I would be ready to appreciate those days of yore now that I know what I missed while vying for the shapes and sizes of the other women around me.

Over and over my mind and I have run this particular proclamation to my body.

Then, we are good on our road, until the mind closes in and starts to overtake my strides.

You'll never make it there, you are too far gone, it taunts. It is too late.It isn't possible for you.

Then, so predictable--it attacks the most vulnerable part of me. The part I hide, keep covered, feel sure is my perfect disgrace: my belly.

The scale tipped in favor of shame today. Shame that I'd let the house of my being become so run down. That I'd let myself use food to comfort me, pick me up, enhance experience-- and that in the process I'd packed on the ext…