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Learning How To Walk Part I

Sign reads Jardin d'inspiration Renaissance

My last post was about my relationship with my mother, and how we were able to bring it to love, even when our requests of the other could not be met. And the beauty of the release and connection we found by moving up and out of our limiting construct that what we needed should be given by the other. How by letting go we found a love that defies the logic of the natural consequences of unyielding people. Of course, once we realized we were working from a template, any idea of compromising or not became irrelevant.

A sweet reader had a question about my meaning pertaining to the following:

When I look around at all the people, it feels overwhelming to think that this process [of letting go and becoming clear in relationships] could work to bring clearer love for all of us, and healing for our planet.

Then I remember that this is vision through my template. Jumping up and out of any special coding, there is only love. There has only ever been love.

She writes: The business I want to realise is based on the desire to help people heal and open themselves to love, making it likelier to experience oneness. But sometimes I ask myself if that's just another ideology, if that is really needed by anyone, or maybe just a story I keep telling myself about reality. What do I know... I never want to act like missionary who thinks everyone on earth needs share their belief, needs to be helped when in fact they are doing really well... Like African tribes who's cultural and religious life's were rich and healthy until the missionary went out to evangelise them. I don't want to impose my view of life on to anyone else... And I'm wondering, if what I think is benefit for others, the world and life might be just a thought shaped by my template and not be of much use... I wonder if staying in this state of mind blocks me from loving what is...But then there's intuition and dreaming...and I'd like to relax in that and trust...

Thank you so much Katharina, for bringing up such an important discussion in your comment. (I feel so blessed that you contacted me. I hope others here will take a moment to get acquainted with your immense creativity and magic!)

What I wanted to convey by my statement was a sense of release from viewing the world from a template that would focus on a long and difficult road to peace. By dropping into the present moment and out of this notion that it had to be hard, there was instant peace. There was a sense that all is unfolding as it should, that all I need do is show up with love and courage, and focus right where I am. I can trust that the experiences I am given will be perfect for my growth, and that these baby steps are enough and instrumental in bringing about a new world.

Of course, opening to this kind of trust which allows to find the gifts from the contrast, is such a continual process and practice, but in my experience it is deepening. Here I can only write again about revisiting old concepts with new perception--faith being one of them--that have taken on new depth and dimension, and, perhaps, deserve a second look. After all, if you'd never experienced chocolate, you couldn't imagine the taste, texture, or sweetness of it. You'd have a hard time conceptualizing it and explaining it, unless there was something similar you'd experienced. You'd linger with the newness, until you could describe the sensations.

This faith is a new experience for me. I'm not sure yet quite how to ground it in the real world, let alone describe the sensations. From all I can gather, it is grown by openness, tended by experience, and nourished by something that transcends our familiar bounds. It is felt. It is reflected. It gives birth to clearer and clearer perception. It has a regular rhythm to it, working in a similar way with individuals. It is part letting go, part getting out of the way, and part surrender.

I wish I could say that I was in this space all the time, but even writing this, I have the doubts creeping in. And yet, direct experience has witnessed again and again that love rules.

Katharina's comment caused a stirring within my soul, a desire to write deeply about my own unfolding experience with regard to making my way in this world, as someone also passionate for a loving world. I am sure Katharina has come back to herself for her own beautiful and resonant answers to her question, but I'd love the opportunity to explore this topic more in depth here, perhaps, just to visit my own foundation being laid.

So, by rising up and out of our old template, or old perception of what is, and finding only love-- is there still a need for healing the world, to help free people from their fears, to bring about clarity and oneness? With a perception of wholeness, are we at a stand still?

I don't think so.

I am discovering that those who are working up and out of a limited template, that choose not to view the world as a planet full of victims, trapped in patterns, doomed to suffering and pain, show up as pure love. They extend this love deeply outside of themselves, and are unafraid to love big. This is reflected in their work, no matter what they do. This is reflected in how they administer to people--hairdresser, mother, brother, counselor, teacher, businessman, barista, builder, spiritual advisor, friend etc. etc. Their actions are not passive in the least and their work has an awakening quality to it, that comes from unconditional love and acceptance of what is, and of people right where they are.

Their extension of this love and all the possibility and healing that comes with it, inspires an important journey for those who are ready, toward their own self-love, toward becoming free to access a vast potential for giving and receiving in this world.

This unconditional love opens up the space for reserves of energy for action, and imagination for bringing ideas, or solutions to problems that wouldn't have been accessible through limited perception. There becomes courage to move toward well-being and healing, to let go of old patterns.

Structures in place are free to stay or go, or come back, depending on whether or not they uphold a journey toward well-being. All experience becomes honored--even the 'trapped', or victim scenarios, as there is recognition that what is there has something deep to reveal.

In other words, the answer is written outside of the box, and you act as a guide to help others climb out of the box to read it. You don't lift them up and throw them out. You recognize their potential for figuring it out on their own, and feel excited about their unique journey, that somehow parallels yours.

So, as we cultivate this new perception of the world, we are not in denial about the problems, but we become focused on the solutions--and mostly through our openness and love, along with our acceptance of what is, vs. our fear of what is, we give permission for others to not only find their own way, but we deeply honor their way, therefore, acting as an agent of their expansion. As people become closer and closer to their own natural source of energy within, inspired to move, courageous to participate and to have important conversations, with a focus on openness and love, they also become part of the expansion.

Helping others becomes natural when love is all there is, but not because they can't help themselves. Finding better ways of living becomes an integral part of life, not because the way it is is broken, but because of the creative potential of what can be built and experienced to add to well-being. We become free to let go of the old and usher in the new, as well as to access the best parts of ourselves, to act in the best ways we can in our world, and forgive ourselves and others when we or they fall short of our own expectations.

This help isn't like a missionary preaching salvation to the sinners, telling them what they should believe, decimating their culture and autonomy. This love deeply honors their way. It leaves it up to the individual to come to terms with their beliefs and structures.

It is patient, but it is wise. It is compatible with all beliefs that are currently in place, but is wise in what it intuits, about what kind of nudge might be necessary to reveal fears that are getting the way of well-being, or causing a divide.

It is stepping more into the role of an opener of experience, vs. needing to put your own brand of enlightenment on someone. It is leading others into their freedom and creativity by empowerment, by allowing them the space to challenge painful beliefs, holding the space for courage to face fears and to move past them, by allowing their story, but not joining them in it.

It is trusting that every interaction is 'perfect' with its teaching and opening qualities, walking the fine-line with faith between when to nudge, and when to wait and witness. It is turning it over, and following your heart, because it takes being in tune with their process, and your own to be helpful. It takes looking hard at yourself, and what is coming up for you in the process, relinquishing judgement so you don't paralyze yourself or others with doubt.

It takes a constant and vigilant reassessing of your process, and your own attachments. It recognizes that every interaction has something to teach you, at the same time you are teaching. There is deep appreciation that everyone is somehow a part of the puzzle, and that oneness is synonymous with freedom.

In my experience it is as simple as searching the present moment for what is getting in the way of love.

You start to just love people's smiles. Oh my goodness, I love this.

You work within a different construct, that accepts what is. You let it show you what is hidden within and work from there.

At first it takes tremendous focus to choose love--and this is when you begin to be shown inklings of a different kind of love than you've known. Your constriction inspires you to look closely at, and change your own patterns, and take further risk by bringing it all back to love again and again. It feels at first like you are giving away your power. But then you realize that what you thought was power, was emptiness and ego-driven. Everything starts to shift. And you feel another kind of power filling you that makes room for a sweet vulnerability. The willingness to love no matter what, becomes stronger, the need to be right or recognized, less dominant--it becomes easier to recognize and release attachments that do not support love. The new power has a healing and opening quality to it.

My unfolding experience continues to show me that the more we release our old perceptions, the clearer we become about what is important to us, and our global community, and the more we access our unique gifts, along with a part of us with endless energy to give. We become recalibrated and energized for action. We extend healing effortlessly by doing whatever it is we do. We value our voice and perspective, and find ourselves less in a defensive stance, knowing that when we have to defend and protect, we are working out of a template which would separate, which would shift the focus on solutions to problems, in most cases with the individuals that we disagree with.

When we learn to honor those around us, no matter what, we expand our gifts and trust that there is room for all of us, and that everyone is important in the process and practice.

I know that I am seeing the world through my old template when judgment creeps in that would create a kind of hierarchy for freedom and clarity, a pushiness--and with it a need to impose beliefs on others to get them to move and to be free. If I look at it deeply, I am attached to their achieving a sense of freedom, for me to feel good--to appease my own fear of a broken world. It is not for their benefit, even if it might have this appearance on the surface. It is really just my fear that the world is broken and I need to fix it to be okay. So, when they fail, my world feels broken again, because my perception is through broken.

In my experience this kind of help out of fear just paralyzes people, and cuts them off from their life-force. They become slave to quick-fixes, and feel empty and lifeless, chasing down different roads, but never finding their destination. They express that they've never been able to really stick to anything. They don't realize that the reason that haven't stuck to anything, is because their doing has never been an organic part of their heart's desires. They've not connected with themselves for long enough moments to know what they are about. They spend time numbing. Each day feels like a struggle.

This letting go and trusting others to be able to find their own light, and continually bringing it all to love is a big lesson for me. I've had a lot of fear around this. (In the next post, I'd like to share some contrasting examples of this in my journey).

I am learning that nurturing can be destructive or helpful, depending on if you are working from fear, or focusing on the potential of someone to move through their fear.

Little by little I see that my ability to really love and have it be received is deeply connected to my release of others from having to do anything a certain way--for my own release from having to do things a certain way.

With a healing perception, you aren't so shocked by what you find. You begin to see wounds and repeating patterns of fear and limitation, and can respond without making them worse. You can open them up and appeal to the power that is beyond the fear to show the way. You free people, as you become free, just by your experience of being free, and by forging deep connections that nourish. You find courage to stay with the hard moments until they open up into love. You act from the perception that opening it to love is possible.

In my experience the perfect people show up in your space, without you orchestrating it.

And the more you hold the space for clarity, possibility and movement through any fear that comes up, the more you accept the pace at which the learning travels, letting, as best you can, the intelligence of it carry the process. The clearer the space becomes--the closer to pure love you dance.

I am learning that healing is merely the willingness to always bring it to love, and to hold this space, no matter what the situation looks like. Then there is all the room in the world for others to access something new within them, a wisdom beyond a limited perception, for action, because they are not wasting their energy fighting your resistance to their unique process, further identifying as a victim.

I believe that holding the space for great possibility is how many of our enduring inventions came about, as imitations of something bigger and something possible-- that began as ideas or dreams: that we could animate machines with electricity, extend light into the darkness, communicate and travel past the bounds of short distances--and in the case of the Internet, and publishing world that has grown from it, to connect as a world, free to use our unique voices, and listen the voices of others, to find those who connect with us deeply and meaningfully, with our very own brand of living and experiencing--without waiting for big companies or marketing agencies to set this up for us.

Healing my perception of the world is to find my own healing, along with an accessing of a deeper part of me that feels to have an endless fount of possibility and pathways for movement--toward a surrendering-- letting love work through me. And, like Casteneda's Don Juan teaches, experience becomes defined by the question, 'does this path have heart?'
(Thank you Katharina for reminding me of this passage in his book).

This is a complex topic, this perspective easily met with judgement and criticism, that this is living in a dream world and in grave denial. And that it has its roots in faith?

I appreciate this perspective, and yet our reality begins in dreams. As children we are full of dreams. We just limit them more and more as our fears and fear-logic take over. To work from a new construct is an undoing of fear, to meet our brother in a new place. It is learning to walk all over again, in an organic way, from the heart, on our own terms. And it is allowing this for everyone--feeling into how much love, expansion, creativity, and lasting change this brings.


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