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Showing posts from January, 2011

Treasure Hunt

I have no idea where this image came from, but it is awesome.

Every time I step outside of what I think I know, what I think I understand, what I think I should follow, believe or do--every time I do it just a little bit differently, do it in a way that supports my well-being--every time I follow my heart, a treasure is revealed.

There is a kind of cosmic applause when I do this, as if this has been the whole point of the game all the time, to follow my heart, to love the heart of others, to take a chance, to question limitation, to tell the truth, to release my shame and guilt, to let go, to feel each of my cells vibrating in the sweetness of living, to receive love and acceptance from likely and unlikely places, to feel my creativity supported and expanded.

My passion is to get to the root of things. And my digging has gotten me to something that is just so simple. It is so simple that I can barely write it here and feel intellectually satisfied.

Love creates new worlds.

Just follow you…
Art by Monika Pellkofer-Griesshammer

I am learning that we are all on the same journey. There are many variations of it, but it is all the same. We are all craving to be seen and heard, and loved. We are craving courage to just be who we are without the effort of being anything different. We want to be loved as we are right now. We also want the recognition of our potential. We want someone to hold our hand and believe in us.

We are wanting with all our hearts the feeling of wholeness that would show us that we have all of this.

We are all healing, ever so gently, even if sometimes there appears to be no external evidence of this in the least.

I am learning that only whole can see whole, so of course the evidence would be invisible if we are looking through our brokenness.

Until we heal these parts, we push it all away.

But the healing is happening. Ever so slowly we are opening our eyes.

And healing the part of us craving love, is bringing us love, and we receive it. Healing the part of us…


This year finds me freshening up. Very different than what freshening up would have looked before. A lot less of the constricted feeling of needing to get my act together, and more like following the scent of baking cookies into the kitchen.

I feel like I am on a perpetual treasure hunt now that I've given myself permission to just sink into the sponginess of a moment that requires nothing of me. Why is it in this place that I have everything to give?

At the moment, I am drawn to pink, softness, cuddles, love. This has manifest in many ways, including soft pink sweaters for me and my girls. I am like a kid in a candy store seeing all of the heart-shaped trinkets for Valentines day already in the stores. This always brought about a wave of disgust and stress before. Now it feels like play.

Everything just feels okay. When it doesn't, I find myself softening to it, and focusing on the truth, that I have a choice in how I see this moment, through fear or through love. Love is trusti…

Prayer for Peace

It is a beautiful thing to find out you've been wrong.

The more I find out I am wrong, the more I begin to open to a new way, a clearer path, one that leads with love.

I was wrong about my daughter. I thought she couldn't emotionally relate on the same level as I, that we would somehow always have a divide between us, and as painful as my assumptions were, I felt powerless to change what I felt to be set in stone.

Thank God for the unfathomable love for a child, that moves mountains, that moved me to take a closer look, to dig down deep to the roots, and to feel a bold-faced determination to find out the truth about both of us. Who knew I would be arriving at the Essence.

My daughter knew she wasn't just born into training--training that would prepare her to be just another blind participant in the rat race. She has shown me that I knew that too--deep down under all of my fear.

What I found was a child who wouldn't compromise, who wouldn't let me instill my fear into he…


I want to say that finding innocence is the best kind of treasure hunt.

I want to say that when my girls were screaming and giggling in the bathroom the other night, and it was really hurting my ears, when they were wobbling this way and that, with their slippery, wet bodies, while I was struggling to keep them still enough to get through their tangles, that I caught sight of them in the mirror, and really saw them, and then the darnedest thing happened!--I started laughing too, and then it became like a really good concert, where I liked it loud.

I want to say that I wasn't afraid to make eye-contact with the 'crazy' guy at the bookstore, who was shouting about green men, and that it was all a set up, that we were all set up, that his laptop was stolen, that he is smart and has a PhD! I want to say that it was he who broke eye-contact first, and became quiet. I want to say that even though I was creeped out by him at first, I felt my heart become brave and open really big.


The Magic Continues!

Kids are back in school, and on this cold wintry day I sit in quiet with the sun streaming in. I feel open and thankful.

Last night I was feeling constriction around school starting, and the holiday being over--moving back into the daily grind, devoid of the magic of the holiday season. I also felt the mess of the piled up dishes and the clutter of the girls' things all over the house. I saw the Christmas tree needing to come down that looked out of place now that it was the 2nd of Jan. I felt myself walking through the house with a familiar dread and anxiety, aimless, not knowing where to begin--stressed out. When my daughter got bit by her hamster, I felt myself wanting to shut up her loud wailing, instead of comfort her. I felt myself wanting to shout at her I told you so, when she began shouting that the hamster was going back to the store.

It was time to get real with the pain.

So, I called my friend Shelley, who has become my tried and true releasing buddy. We just started to u…

Bye-Bye Guilt! Hello Joy!

I've decided that guilt is what you feel when you are trying to do or live something like you 'should', but your Soul wants to direct you otherwise--toward freedom and vitality!

It hurts so much to experience guilt, because to be in conflict with your heart's desires, is to be continually stuck in a process of attempting to stop the flow of the river in its tracks, with your bare hands--after a spring melt.

Oh, the joy when you finally let go, decide to open to your Soul, and let it lead, to let go and ride the river of life, aligned with that bigger part of you, ready to move with the rapids no matter where they go--knowing that the risk will be worth it, that the affirmation of coming alive will reinforce the risk taking, and show you that you made the right choice; when you realize that staying stuck in the 'should's' and running behind the bus to finally 'get it together' and be 'perfect', or 'just put up with it', are the lies tha…