Expansion Photo by Lyn of Death Valley When I don't run away from those moments when every part of me is reaching for something to ease the pain, when I can just be with the pain of the moment without needing something in my environment, my relationships, or inside myself to be different, something funny happens. When I stay with the rawness of the moment, eventually I am spit out the other side. This is where the peace comes in, the breaking of an 'ancient neurotic pattern'--the need to find comfort outside of self. Staying with the pain without reaching for solace has the impossible feeling like I have been given the task to single- handedly reverse the direction of a river thundering down a mountain canyon. It feels messy, unpredictable and scary. I find myself gasping for breath as the pain drags me with it, scraping me across jagged rocks, kicking and screaming all the way. It is like I am frying all of my circuits, my insides are on fire, but I don't stop to pu