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Composting

I am in a composting phase. I am taking in a lot of life experience, doing my best to be very open to it, in whatever form it takes.

I am taking stock of my beingness. I am watching the power of my emotions in the moment. I am watching my stories unravel and then tighten back up.

I am slowing down.

I am bringing it back to love, and asking for lots of help in this.

I see much of what I would have once called progress, but now I'm not sure what to call it, as I am letting go of those ideas of moving towards some finer goal or outcome. Although it does feel like something is being fine-tuned, or a connection is being strengthened, I would call it more of a stable feeling of peace settling in, or perhaps just simply more awareness of self and my perceptions.

I see how each of us are given what we need to open us and give us greater insight into ourselves and into others.

When we begin to open and settle into this openness for longer periods of time, we begin to better gauge how open others are. The judgement drops away when we see a brother that is imprisoned by his mind, like we once were, and in many cases still are.

There is only love left after watching our own rigid parts of ourselves drop away, the parts that required this or needed that.

It doesn't mean we become passive, but we are no longer settling in the role of victim. We speak from a higher intention. We are resilient to the criticism, because something feels better than letting it in. Something in us knows where it comes from, and doesn't believe it, any more than we believe our own wicked thoughts.

I find myself watching more. I do my best to meet people where they are. And when I can't meet them in peace, I watch what they stir in me, and lovingly I let it run its course, until it too can fall away. Some things want to stay with me longer, and I welcome them as an invitation of healing those parts of myself. I see it isn't personal, and never was.

So, in this composting time, I watch much, I love much, and I hope much. A part of me has quieted down. I don't feel the same yearnings, because I don't hold the same fears.

This journey is precious to me, for I see how I am doing my soul's work in every moment. There is nothing more that I could possibly want, than to be doing this work. There is so much love at the end of this. There are so many possibilities.

I see how we come full circle to all that we are drawn to and love in this physical world, and how what we love doesn't just have to be ego-driven, but is related to our entire spiritual selves. Each moment of our journey can feel connected to this work, and when we let go of directing it, of limiting it with our fears and our beliefs about the world, it expands. It takes on a life of its own and lives through us.

When we let go enough and are open enough, we are shown all the meaning we've ever been searching for, only we've stopped asking for it.

Comments

  1. wow. Such beautiful reminders for me right now. i've got the evening with the kids (husband is out)and these words are helping me put things in perspective.

    Thank you, my friend. You amaze me so.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't even know what to say!

    I just know that I feel your words speaking directly with my soul.

    So inspiring!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hadn't stopped by your blog in awhile, but I am glad I did this morning! This is beautiful Brooke. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "There is only love left after watching our own rigid parts of ourselves drop away, the parts that required this or needed that."

    So inspiring, Brooke. I am trying to subscribe to your blog. So far Mercury Retrograde is not letting me. Will persist!

    ReplyDelete

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