Skip to main content

Chosen One


Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore. Sometimes I find myself doing such bizarre things, that I am pretty sure that I've gone to sleep in one world and woken up in another.

Like last week, I found myself in Hawaii with my ex-husband and our kids. Not getting back together, just finding a way to vacation with the little people we love most, able to be mature enough not to have it mean anything more than it did, no story, no strings, and no cares what stories other people could whip up.

Then there was my dolphin summoning. It was supposed to appear right in the line of the sunset. I wanted to summon it, because I thought I could. I didn't think wouldn't it be nice if, I thought this is possible, and I believed it with every part of my being. I let go of it actually happening, however, not wanting to feel attached. In other words, I slept on it.

The next day, my ex found me and told me that there was a whale and her baby taking a stroll across the waters. I ran out with my youngest daughter, watched a few spouts of ocean droplets and dancing fins. Then I heard a little boy, who just arrived on the scene, speak out nonchalantly. "Aren't they over there?" He was pointing in the line of the sunset. "No," his parents said, "way over there, where everyone is looking."

"Oh, yeah, those are dolphins." said the Universe masquerading as the boy.

And my gaze shifted back toward the sunset.

While everyone ooohed and awwwed over the whales, I kept my eyes focused to see a dolphin. I waited several minutes. It was worth it. Suddenly, out jumped the most gorgeous dolphin forming a graceful arc of its body and landing back in the water. There wasn't another one. That was it.

There was my dolphin.

I broke the family curse too, which has been for years that everyone sees a sea turtle in the wild but me.

My curse held steady until the last day. But when I geared up for the last time, I knew this time was different. I swam out a good distance and paused for a moment, only to see a gorgeous sea turtle making his way toward me.

Not only did I see this beautiful creature, I swam with it for a long while. I watched how slowly and gracefully he moved. I became slow like him. Despite being a good snorkeler and telling others around me about him, nobody else could seem to track it but me--like it was my own personal turtle swim, not meant for anyone else. I was gifted this beautiful creature, and back home this morning, I feel him with me. I slow down to see the beauty right in front of me.

My family joked that now there was no more curse to tease me with.

I responded, "Yes, that is right. Things are different now. I am a chosen one."

I am a chosen one.

I do not say this to set myself apart as greater in any way. I say this to declare that for the first time in my life, I feel worthy of being a chosen one.

We are all chosen. We just have to discover this.

Yes, I hardly recognize myself, but that is okay. It is delicious to discover this new woman.

There were moments she knew such quiet, sitting under the stars and the moon, that she became one with all of the elements: the earth that held her, the April air that blew fiercely around her, the fire of the torches burning into the night, and the vast ocean of water, the womb of other worlds, of other possibilities.

There was nothing to separate--no extra baggage weighing down. There was nothing to keep her from experiencing.

Mostly, there was no fear, and in this opened up an entire new way of partaking of the present moment.

So, I come back, still lit up from the tropical paradise, feeling the contrast of experiencing while being clear and open, stripped of fears and limiting beliefs, illusions of separation; humbly gifted the extraordinary and able to receive it.

There is so much beauty here.

I am humbled by a profound love of self, and a woman who decided that she wanted to really live, to really see, who couldn't be content any more just watching it all go by, unnoticed.

Comments

  1. Whew. Such gorgeous writing, so perfectly expressing it all.

    "There is so much beauty here."

    Yes--indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a beautiful image, what beautiful words to find in my mailbox this morning. I am so glad I subscribed yesterday. I would not have wanted to miss this inspiring post!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is so beautiful Brooke. What amazing clarity about your value. I love it. The dolphin summoning would have made me cry for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your dolphin experience sounded amazing. I imagine little Brooke must have been overjoyed. Peace sister X

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

♥ Thank you for taking the time connect with me here. ♥

Popular posts from this blog

RIP Poltergeist

After over ten years of an incredibly intense journey as a seeker, I find myself lying fallow. Taking a rest. When I first discovered this uncomfortable fact — threat to the hamster wheel that was my spiritual rat race, I surrendered for dead, but something wouldn’t let that fact sit as truth. I was lying fallow, but this implied that after a good rest, fruit could follow. This had nothing to do with death.

I am humbled at the courage it takes to write. For many years I kept a blog read by only a handful of very supportive people, and you’d think that after sharing writing for so long with perfect strangers, writing would have gotten easier. Actually, it got harder. In fact, at one point I was so paralyzed, I just stopped writing altogether. It was just too vulnerable. There was no trust there anymore, and I attributed any courage I had had to my youthful ignorance.

However, life continues, as it inevitably does, and there is still this pang to write, and it grows stronger and strong…

Adventure

Another painting I loved making. I had so much fun just layering paint and swirling about.

Adventure has been a big part of my world as of late. In fact, writing this after a long day of skiiing. Where I used to shy away from leaving the house, I've been doing the opposite. Finally really getting to know my beautiful state and bask in its beauty-- hiking to the top of many peaks--sometimes limping the last stretches back to the car. Took my girls camping on the beach without a 'man'  and was so proud when I got the campfire started multiple times. The girls had their doubts I could do it. It was nice to prove them wrong! My most favorite was the day I drove 5 hours to the closest passport office on a wing and a prayer to get a same-day passport (wing and a prayer because they tell you you can drive all that way, but that there is no guarantee they can/will help you) so I could accept an invitation to see the woman's soccer world cup, and within a week was in Vancouver…

All for one and one for all...

“All for one and one for all.” 
― Alexandre DumasThe Three Musketeers
I thought I would bid farewell to these 29 days with me and my girls taking in the sunset atop one of my favorite views.

This was drawn at a time when our little threesome became my sense of home and identity, and having these little ones, now big, by my side has given my life meaning and purpose, and has changed me in every way that is good.

This is how I want to go out, in the end, like watching the sunset with my girls--feeling the warm glow casting itself around the valley, lighting up eyelashes and strands of angel hair, until the light recedes and is no more.

Thank you to those who joined me on this journey. The gifts have been all mine-- to share my creations and to be met with such tender love and kindness. I honor you all as fellow creators and humans on the journey. It is a joy to call you friends.

I can't wait to be on the receiving end of your creations, and to keep a life-long sharing of our hearts…