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Lightness of Step

What if you find yourself all grown up, you've done it all by the book, finding yourself well down the paths of career, marriage, kids, and all of the sudden you've changed your mind. You don't want to do it the same way anymore. It isn't doin' it for you.

What if you find that everything you thought you believed or cared about, looks funny in a different light, and you can't take it seriously anymore, like you could before, which was really the only engine you had propelling you to dot your i's and cross your t's.

Nobody prepares you for this. You've been prepared to do it how you should, how it best has been imagined by others--many, many, others. And if you haven't had this experience of being told, your logic and fear have likely overrided any of these rarer attempts at opening your perspective.

It's kind of like stalling on the highway on your way to the big city, where you are supposed to turn up for work. People are depending on you. They are used to your face. They are used to the way you do things, even if they don't like it much. But there in that moment out of gas on the highway, you realize you just don't have to show up. You really don't, and it really doesn't matter. Even if everything falls apart in your absence, it will all work out in the end, or not. Who can really judge?

And so you just start walking, fascinated by the back and forth movement of your legs, and arms, the texture of the ground under your feet, how your body moves without much help from your head.

You don't bother to call in. They'll figure it out.

All of the sudden, all of your rebellions, in whatever form, take on rich meaning, getting you to this place, where you could finally break away, and not feel an ounce of stress about it.

It seems to me that all you could do is follow the same voice that led you there in the first place, giving you the courage to walk out into oblivion, noticing how it looks a lot like the world you just left, only different somehow.

You may find yourself securing a can of gas. You might show up late for work. You might keep walking. Either way, it will never be the same.

Comments

  1. I love this, Brooke...such freedom--like a deep breath of fresh air.

    "It seems to me that all you could do is follow the same voice that led you there in the first place,"

    Love it...it's just about trusting that voice, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Freedom! I love this. If we could just shut off all the voices and ideas of everyone...even our own...such freedom!

    Thank you for reminding me!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this post Brooke!

    ReplyDelete

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