Message coming from the deep, tangled with words, not knowing what you mean, or in what context I should read you...
Always, you take me past any meaning--asking that I allow any explanation trying to emerge, to just drop away.
There is the promise of understanding, as I fall into you, into open space, into All of existence.
The feeling is a deepening, a calming, a zeroing in on a place to land, suspension into active silence.
Everything looks different here. One sky, and so many shades of blue. So many pictures in the clouds. I am held captive by the light.
All the whispers...I can't always make out what they are saying, but it doesn't matter, because the Essence is the same. The Essence is timeless. It carries me. It hoards nothing, not even answers.
You joyfully watch me pick my interpretations like summer wild flowers. You mourn with me as life fades from them, as they wither on my way home. You wait with me for morning light, when I awaken in the midst of deeper meaning.
You are patient within my core. You wait for me to go, and return.
Rising up within, our bond strengthens.
Each time I stay a little longer.
My body unfolds from the womb, from the old stories. You teach me to understand through this vessel, all my own, but somehow belonging to the whole; whose purpose is to reflect the many parts.
You teach me to to clear the path to you, to free myself from needing to know and understand. You allow me to discover the holes in their holy recipients, you allow their meaning to wash over me, and off of me. You watch me follow their trails as far as their dead ends.
I find you resting in their wake, where I sit with you a while. Longer and longer.
I stop chasing.
You speak of completion, by abandoning anything that I believe I have reconciled on this earth plane. You dangle no promises that would keep me earthbound, as you know that anything I think I want, holds no true value for me.
You leave me to find it out for myself. Little by little, the right or the left look the same.
What you offer lives outside of solution, or face-value.
As I heed the truth, something in me wants to close in on you, to figure you out, to stay a step ahead of you, or at least to keep up.
Gently, you remind me to move beyond, to ride the contraction into the next horizon. Let it birth itself. I need not help it.
You teach me to vibrate in the frequency of freedom. I let it become familiar.
My vision unravels, shifts. I focus in an entirely new way--through the looking glass-- and I understand what it is to see.
I understand how my physical eyes are symbolic of true vision--how they teach me, but are actually unable to see anything at all.
Freed from absolutes, my vision becomes clearer, never left to interpret by sight alone--always paired with the heart-center, extending out through every receptor, to be interpreted through integrated experience with the entire body, until a complete picture has formed. Always, it is filtered through the color of unconditional love.
And it feels as though I've only just begun to differentiate color, heard the first resolutions of a harmonic story, or the rich timbres of the orchestra; just now felt what it is like to take a full breath, to have my thirst quenched, my hunger satiated. And there is the feeling that explosions of pleasure were only imagined before.
It is with a wholeness of awakening that I begin to interpret this fabric of oneness. The separation is a memory in the mind. The body warms, and knows the way back.
I take it in, and feel it resonate, feeling the pieces fit, feeling the truth exist in the present moment-- in the sea of space in between, free-falling into nothingness.
If I just allow myself to fall...
All contained within, permeating all matter, always--inviting all to see.
So easy for it to move through a clear field of energy; as easy as plugging in--but only if nothing obstructs its entry.
I need not define. I need not limit.
This is access to a world which knows no bounds.
I close my eyes, and sink into silence.
I love being limited by language--automatically, I drop into the depths of an endless abyss that vibrates with the gentleness of an exhale--nothing more to hold onto--never having to hold to anything; the concept of need, unheard of; wanting, non-existent.
I rest in falling and flying, with no need to know which.