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Man In the Mirror (Thanks MJ)

It is quiet this morning. I've just lit a few candles and some incense, hoping that the element of fire will help burn through the cloudiness of my mind, and that the sweet pungent smell of the incense will help thin the veil between worlds that at the moment feels like a firewall.

There is so much beauty that I am unwilling to see right now. I don't know if it is worse to know the workings of the mind, and still actually believe in them, or to be completely identified with the mind and not feel the responsibility of really seeing.

Another working of my mind coming at me from behind! Somehow I must be all-knowing. Somehow I must have clear vision. Somehow, I must be perfect, not to mention superhuman.

I sink into a truth, that I need to know nothing, understand nothing, and be nothing. Thoughts counter to these are products of an unloving mind.

I sink into a truth of what I already am. I Am.

So, at this moment that beauty around me feels to belong to others, and I feel like an outsider, I permeate my thoughts, by writing a solid path right through them.

So, the question is, will it always feel this hard to break free from the mind that is doom and gloom? And my answer to myself is, yes, as long as you believe it is.

Enter the perfect physical world example:

School board meeting last night, with the public testimony of those who would hope to save our all-day Kindergarten, that has been such a beautiful opportunity for our very awake little ones to spend their day in the public schools--until NOW. Many parents, including me, got up and gave impassioned speeches about how much we valued this opportunity for our children, and how much it means to us to have it protected from the slaughter of budget cuts.

I won't get into the politics of it, but it was a shock to the system to be in a room with people spouting forth fiscal projections for the schools, to be tossing around figures in the millions that our schools would lose next year. Doom and gloom in the future! Here ye, here ye, read all about it!

I declare!

There was a compassionate response from the superintendent that in her heart she wanted to save a program that is highly valued by our community, but there was the wide spread conclusion that it couldn't be saved.

Fooey! I say. All I saw was fear. This is why I do not watch the news. No wonder it is hard for our minds to break free, after all HOW CAN YOU ARGUE WITH STATISTICS?! You can't. They are a product of the fearful mind. They separate, they designate, they evaluate, and all the other 'ates' you can think of.

So, last night I watched the physical world, in the form of a school board meeting, as I watch my mind now.

Conclusion: It is even more important than ever, to change this world, and it starts with each of us letting go of our own identification with our own fearful mind.

I wanted to stand up and say, seriously? you all seriously are going to buy this. We have this kind of passion and support for this program in our community, and you are seriously okay with just killing it? Really? I wanted to wave my hands around and say, are you guys really okay with what this says about our world? Are you guys really okay with being imprisoned by group think? You are going to let these statistics shut you up. You aren't going to fight for the little ones?

But to avoid burning bridges, I saved my thoughts for today, and wrote a letter to all involved. I share it here, because it was also a letter to my mind:

Dear All,

Thank you very much for allowing our voices to be heard at the meeting last night. After much reflection on the workings of last night, I felt inspired to write to you, not as a citizen trying to save something that is extremely valuable for our children, but as a fellow human being.

The projections and statistics of doom and gloom that I heard last night were a shock to the system. There was much talk about this being a complex issue. The air was full of the feeling that we were at a stalemate. The people's voice would be heard, but nothing could be done. While I respect all of the proceedings, I challenge us to see the beautiful simplicity in what looking at this issue from another angle could offer our community and world at large.

My question is this: Are we all really comfortable with believing such gloom about our world-- that we are imprisoned by a system that is already in place, that we know is flawed. Are we aware of how it is really each of us as individuals, who based on that fearful data, hold the belief that our hands are actually tied behind our backs, and that this is what actually perpetuates our imprisonment?

It is clear to me that it is not the projections and statistics that keep us from moving forward, but rather the fear that they elicit in us, because of our conditioning-- until we can no longer hear the heart that knows deep down, on some deeper level, what truths we need to conserve.

Are we really comfortable with not taking the risks to bring about change? Is there really something to be so afraid of? Have we ever questioned our thoughts and fears enough, to ponder the possibility that precisely what we should do, is not play it safe, but stand up for what we value; to rebuild a system that actually supports us, rather than imprisons us--and that by doing so we will begin to feel out the actual contours of what we have created, and to expand the very limiting boundaries that we have become so comfortable residing within?

What do we have to lose? We are already losing. Should we just keep putting on band-aids and cutting our losses, or should we change the world from a community level, by not being afraid to think outside the box.

We know that this issue has far reaching effects beyond just our Kindergartens. I was so surprised as I heard so many future and current teachers in the audience whispering last night about their doomed careers. I heard teachers saying how difficult it is to fit important curriculum into such a small time slot, how frustrating it is that the integrity of how they can best do their jobs isn't an issue. I thought, Really? Is this the kind of world that we want to live in, with so much fear, with no voice? Everything doomed? Everyone stuck in a system that constricts?

I felt the deep compassion of the superintendent and the board. I believe the situation was well understood, and what it means to the community of parents, children and teachers is seen. I believe its far-reaching effects were understood-- but I also saw what has become so common place in our society--the fear that keeps us from going beyond what we think we can do: the belief that our hands are really tied, and that we have to have all of the variables figured out before we can put our support behind something; that we can't trust it to work itself out, if we just make the decision to see it through. This is a commitment to saying yes before we say no.

When it comes to situations like this, we have become so identified with our broken-record minds, our conditioned consciences, and so slave to relying on statistics and projections, (that, frankly let's admit, are NEVER positive), that change loses out to mass fear. And the process stops. No matter that we know on some level, that somewhere deep within us we are free to make a better world, and that it doesn't even have to be hard.

I say let's follow our hearts. I say let's simplify our thinking--let a little light into an archaic way of going through the motions. Let's set a new standard for taking care of our own, and let's start with the integrity of asking some really good questions--like, do we really need to be afraid? After all, isn't that why we look to our leaders, to lead us out?

And if the answer is that we must be afraid, then we ask ourselves again just to be sure--and then we wonder what kind of life we are constructing for our children, to pass on our fear, our limiting beliefs, our victimization, that we have inherited and created ourselves, and continue to perpetuate.

Let's ask ourselves if we are comfortable with letting the balance tip so precariously to one side, that much of what we know to work disappears, lost to a more courageous age.

I say we step into our power as human beings, and step out of the broken and fearful systems, to read the writing on the outside of the box, where the answers are written, and the questions become not if we will keep what our communities value, but how.



I challenge myself to take my own advice today, and start realizing all the beauty that exists that I miss when I'm stuck in my fearful thoughts, and the infinite possibilities that I am shooting down when I believe them. And I say, thank you physical world, for reflecting my own mind, so that I might see it clearly, without any apologetic make-up or fancy frocks, but for what it really is, so that I might be inspired to make a change.

C'mon people let's change this world, just by changing our minds! I'm in, are you? Let's roll!


  1. I'm In! Very empowering letter not to mention thought process.


  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  3. I loved the description of the cloudiness compared to the holding back of the firewall.

    Go Harvey Milk a.k.a. Brooke. Champion for the wee ones! You have found another voice, (another purpose ?) which needs to be heard by this world. We are not doomed or destined to gloom, Priorities... Man! I say, children are the future and who better to top the list... "to make this world a better place".

    You go girl!

  4. Damn girl. You just keep blowing me away. Your voice so needs to be heard (by the masses)---it tells the truth, it thinks outside of the box, it inspires and points to another way.

    You amaze me.

    I feel something big coming on....

  5. Dear Brooke, your global vision for the human fearful mind is real. We are not free because we feel so fearful what the world will became if we get some completely different and unknown roads.


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