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Beyond Illusion Part I: A New Way of Being

Breaking Free, acrylic painting by my dear friend Julia Fehrenbacher
(Thank you so much for reading and for your emails and comments, connecting with my words and finding a little of yourselves contained within. It is both validating and inspiring).

I am fascinated with perception. I am fascinated by the fact that there can be so many viewing angles of a situation, and each of them equally valid, or not. Unfortunately, once you get outside of the realm of judgement, the sky is the limit as far as possibilities for right or wrong. It can twist the mind into a knot, but the spirit always has access to the wisdom and clarity in any given situation. There is no one-size fits all with the spirit. The workings with our innate knowledge and intuition always feel open and loving to the self and others. It calms, it soothes, and it heals. There is always a peaceful solution.

My mother called me yesterday, saying, that she didn't know what was wrong, that she had so much to do in her house, and my grandmother's house, painting, and renovating both, but she couldn't bring herself to do any of it. She said, "I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like the past couple days I've been a failure, getting nothing accomplished!" And I stopped her dead in her tracks, like she loves me to do, and said. "Mom, that is the F-word. You can say any other F-word, but NOT that one!"

I told her that it isn't that she isn't being productive, it is that she can no longer do things the same way anymore. She can't suffer through what her soul doesn't want to do at the moment. It isn't that she will never get back to what she "has" to do, but she will never do the work in the same empty and restrictive space of someone who must sacrifice more than they have to give, continually feeling out of balance.

She will work only when her spirit has been renewed, by spending time in sacred space, a place of renewal and healing, and a place where she chooses what to do. It is not chosen for her by way of duty. She will inch her way into doing the same things with a sense of presence, and quiet power, where the predominant thoughts are not, let's get this done! When we get this done life can begin again. Rather it will ask, what grace is there in this moment, in the movement of my body, in the depth of my breath, in the workings of my mind? What appreciation is there for my heart that glows with openness and peace, that emanates love for all of me, and for all of you?

She will work with that part of her that knows that to everything there is a season, and that this particular season is one of rebuilding. She will celebrate this. She will ask for help if she needs it. She will no longer struggle, because it has become too painful for her to slight herself. And she knows that she must feel joy to be of service to another. And every part of her wants to be of service...

She will return to her natural state, because her conviction comes from the deeper part of herself. Her mind no longer obscures truth.

This is the access-point to beauty. This is where we begin to open up illusion and to find our own version of reality, just waiting peacefully and glittering all around us, willing to swoop us up in its wonderful rhythms and celebrations of joy. Gone are the days when we are ruled by guilt and shame, when we compare and contrast at every turn. Here, here! To days of flowing with the gentle current of spirit, to feeling our feet sinking gently into the earth--the heaviness gone.

So, to my friend who yesterday called me and told me that at one point in her day, with two small kids, lay down on the living room floor, when she knew she had no more to give and for the moment, just couldn't do anymore, I say, how wonderful. How wonderful in the moment to stop fighting and to do what your body and soul needs you to do, to stop overriding your guidance system that wants to bring you peace. And when it is natural to get back up, because logic says you will not stay lying down forever, there is the beauty waiting for you, and it is coupled with the loving energy of one who has begun listening to her inner-workings, and finds that it is her biggest gift to herself and to those around her.

May you find peace as you walk in a new way. May you feel the profound love that would give you permission to do so.


  1. Your blog is like a string of pearls, little moments in life glimmering and reflecting your knowing of oneness.


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