Monday, May 13, 2013

Wonder Sessions: An Invitation to Work with Me




I am a relationship healer. 

Relationships include anything that we relate to in the world around us and within us.

Relationships we have include relating to the people in our lives, to the natural world, to our work earning a living or our participation in community and world affairs, to our internal world and imagination, to our  ability to envision possibilities, to our concepts of spirituality or personal philosophies, to our creativity, and our soul expression, or  to our destined purpose in the world. This also includes our beliefs about money, time, and how we go about our day. 

Our experience of living is made up of our relationships to everything outside and inside of us. Our relationships tell us everything about what we believe about our place in the universe and our deserving or our feeling a lack of it. 

Each of us lives as a kind of symphonic composition of our relationships to the world within and without, playing melodies and harmonies unique to us, and yet with melodies and harmonies that are recognizable to others, as they contain the similar variations of the music. We are playing our unique compositions in all of our relating to the world around us and inwardly. Where the music is joyous, we are closer to living as free beings. Where the music causes us pain, we are feeling oppressed and living from a limited template.

Common themes play themselves out over and over, causing pain or pleasure. We note what we like and what don't like, gravitating towards what we like. We find ourselves playing out scenarios over and over that cause us pain. 

The music only changes when we achieve awareness of our patterns, and can change the foundation of what is causing us to react in the same old ways. To change our song is to change the kinds of possibilities that exist.

We are largely invisible to ourselves when we begin probing our deeper awareness. We become confused and overwhelmed by our findings, because no matter what we find that feels supportive, it is quickly torn apart by thoughts of unworthiness or impossibility.

We see ourselves in a new way when we begin to see our relating to the world mapped out for us. We understand the underlying patterning and uncover a new way of being, or a new song we have often felt we had inside of us, but haven't been able to keep it in experience for long enough to give it staying power, and so it remains as a song we just can't remember, even though we have an inkling of it.

We often put off our healing, believing that one of these days we will get it on our own, and it is often not until something we judge as horrible happens that we seek help.

Just as a wound has forces in the body to help it to heal, or return to a balanced and optimum state of health, humans as a whole reflect this process on a larger level, realizing that optimum health and well-being is dependent on how we relate to one another. 

I believe that we have barely touched optimum health and well-being as it would be if we truly met each other freely and with no bounds--to really see each other without obstructions. We are truly the key to each others' awakening and healing, and yet, the whole secret of it is that we must engage with one another to activate deep healing. 

We must begin to feel safe and connected enough in our relationships that we begin to let in higher forms of consciousness, that are often blocked from entering by having too much in the way.

The nature of the physical world calls for collaboration all the time in fixing and sustaining itself. Nutrients cause plants and animals to grow and to live out life cycles.

Everything is deeply connected in the human world. Where we have lost the connection is where we have become caught up in the aim for self-sufficiency. We have developed a detrimental relationship to the processes of becoming, self-realization, and realizing our human potential. We either arrive at our destination a winner, but alone and empty, or we are too fearful to even begin the journey to realize ourselves, stunting our process out of feelings of inadequacy. 

We shut out collaboration, permission to begin at the beginning and to be a newborn, and the authentic celebration of one another's gifts, which imbues living with a sense of purpose and reverence. We have opted instead for hiding our flaws, pretending about who we are, and worrying secretly and ceaselessly that we don't measure up. We have focused in places that haven't felt good to us, because we have listened to misguidance born from a collective consciousness of fear and lack.

My job is to restore deep listening to yourself, to remind you what you already know deep inside of you, and to show you how listening and returning to this natural state creates balance, creativity, freedom and the ease of relating and connecting.

My gift is to illuminate aspects of yourself that you cannot see without another, (part of the ingenious cosmic insurance that we begin to truly engage with each other in deep and meaningful ways), the parts that you cannot see, and will never see without help.

You become aware of where and when you hold back and operate from deadened facades out of fear of being received.  

My job is to give you a clear picture of yourself, and how you relate to the world, to show you limiting patterns so that you become aware of how everything is related.  What you begin to see will surprise you. Once you see the detrimental patterns, you will see better how to reconfigure them in new a productive ways. You will also feel your strengths and positive patterns begin to emerge stronger, and have more power to create and interact with ease and harmony as you are not in a perpetual tug-a- war with the conflicting patterns. It is a lot like waking up from a nightmare.

Most people operate in a deadened sense of reality, in a deadened state of the senses. They live life navigating their lives from down in a hole forever trying to climb out. 

Imagine if you weren't using all of your energy to climb out of the hole.

By learning to deeply connect, or in other words, to heal your relationships and optimize your experience with them on multi-dimensional levels, you gradually come up out of the hole and discover and incorporate new ways of being that feel joyful and full of potential.

Holding this state of mind requires sustaining power. A guide such as I can help reinforce longer periods of operating from a new template. A guide allows you to interact with yourself in ways that feel loving and supportive, and helps provide a life-line/rope, and a way out, when the old way rises up to pull you back down the hole, which is always the nature of change--to snap us back to old familiar patterns and barriers that feel comfortable--comfortable because we often do not feel worthy or brave enough for better circumstances. 

We move in increments, and we need a hand to hold along the way to sustain our growth. This is also our important beginning of being able to harness supportive connections, which begin to take root and extend into all of our relationships.

True self-realization comes from our collaboration and interactions with others. For this to happen, we must learn how to relate with others without all of our fears and blocks in the way, so that we may see what relating without them would feel like. This opens up the potential to create, collaborate and celebrate each other without the fear of one another underneath the surface dampening and obstructing the fullness of our experience. 

When we become clear, we see how we truly do not have to sacrifice anything--that giving is our greatest joy, and having our gifts received is even bigger joy. We also find an ability to receive others' gifts, giving them a gift in return by validating their giving process. It becomes a perfectly balanced relationship based on mutual respect and love.

When we begin to clear the way, we find others who are eager to participate in this giving receiving process.

My work radiates strongly from a template of wholeness and return--the accessing of a memory within our body, mind and spirit, of release and ease, that makes way for the animation within us of a vital life-force. 

Although I most closely identify as a holistic coach and spiritual mentor, I am best described as a steward of clarity. I work for an energy of becoming clear--a heart opening energy, that reveals a new kind of experience, and opens you up to house, and stream within you, the force of love. I work to help you see a bigger picture, a bigger promise, to hold out for deep trust in your life, by helping you to understand your current perception of reality, and its current limitations, deeply releasing what is in the way by returning to a  and supporting a new vision taking root within you. 

My language of love speaks of becoming clear, of returning home to one's self; a self that may be very much unknown before work begins.

My gift is to love beyond bounds, and because of this, I see the miracle of you. My work is to gently help lift what is in the way of you seeing you-- to read your highest ideals of your heart and soul, and to lead you there.

I listen to the language of your heart, and translate it to you into communication that the mind can tend to. I open up the energy toward expansion and endless possibility, and hold the space for this until it becomes familiar and real to you. 

My work is to acquaint you with a world where you take great joy in participating and engaging.

I help you to connect more deeply with yourself, which helps you to align more deeply with your world. 

I help you clarify your relationships with yourself, with your family and friends, with your work, in order to help you see in a way that instructs your being, brings you clarity and new vision, and the surprise of joy. I help you to become aware of your perceptions and beliefs, so that you begin to have an inkling of a perception unobscured by fear, pain, limiting beliefs, and old stories, letting a new way be revealed to you.

I invite you to work with me by phone, Skype or in person at my downtown Corvallis, Oregon office.

For more information click Wonder Sessions above. Sliding scale rates available $60-100 per hour.


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Once Upon a Time...


Remember all my walkabouts?

Well, I have been stopped now for a long time, and standing at the edge of a precipice, staring down into the gaping space of the grandest canyon.

Full of the ghost of a wild and torrential river, that, with unapologetic fervor, carved steep cathedral walls, with a momentum so focused and powerful, that there was not the slightest worry as to how the ridiculously wise layers of sediment would paint the canyon. 

Echos of a leap of faith so giant, as to invite collaboration, deep, rich seasoning in the kiln--the finishing touches that create the story of touch and vision. The mingling of storm and strata. An invitation to see and re-see.

This wild ghost has been calling me from the depths of its very own memories, telling me how very very, very, worthwhile (as in all that ever really mattered when it came down to it), it was to remain steadfast to its creation as it galloped forward toward that moment when it would inevitably change form-- meet with the vastness of the ocean and be swallowed up into the whole-- but not before leaving in its wake, its perfect sculpture--carved by its very own full-body torrent,  breathed into full mast lungs, and streaming grace, swollen with life-blood, and supercharged to let nothing get in its way, not even fear kicking and screaming on its back--yet loving enough to reach back now and then, patting the little tufts of baby-fine hair, coaxing the little fellow to open its eyes and see the sights.

Unafraid to take up all the space in universe, no longer believing space was scarce.

To know itself, to know all others.

Soul Carving. It keeps coming back. It keeps coming back.

Today, I believe in miracles. Today, I allow myself to be a miracle.

Today I mingle and I move. 

Once upon a time...

 she took a giant leap into the void, only to take hands with the river.

 I'll show you what she made, who she met along the way, and the finishing touches
 that pointed to the moon.


Thursday, March 14, 2013

"Honey, it's time!"

         My first daughter peeking out from the womb. I just love this first picture of her and all the promise 
and possibility it holds of a brand new being!


I'm all packed, and even though I have been feeling inklings of labor pains for many months, the time has finally come for the real labor. I am ready. So ready. Joyfully ready and bursting at the seams to get to know this life that lives within me, that is finally ready to be born as the expression of my heart, my soul, and my explorations as a human being.

Being a mother of two daughters, I can't very well help but to marry the creative process of birthing our souls, with the metaphor of birthing a human newborn, with all the beauty, uniqueness, and possibility that each one holds.

Have I written this before? I don't know, I don't think it matters. It is all part of uncovering more and more of the heart of who we are, and who we are meant to be. Layers and layers to get to the good stuff. 
 At this time in my life, there is the feeling like I finally made it to the part up the mountain where I can drink in the view. It isn't the top, but it is the place where I have finally received my own personal understanding, that it really was never about getting to the top. That it really is all about the journey. The contraction and expansion of the muscles. The expansion and contraction of the lungs. The expansion and contraction of the mind. The expansion and contraction of fear and bliss. The expansion and contraction of connections. The learning. The growing. The beginnings and endings. All those you meet along the way. The sensations of living, growing, bending and swaying, tripping-- sometimes finding ourselves in very contorted and uncomfortable positions just to find that drop of sunlight to keep you going--sending roots out through mud and clay, truly hoping you can trust your heart that tells you that there is water out there.

It is time for me to take all of this seriously. I have seen what light and love can do to awaken our hearts, to connect our souls, and to bring us all into a deep and lasting feeling of home with one another. I have written about it. I have spent countless hours communing with others, and my inner world about it. 

I have born witness of the Soul's expression in others over and over, and passionately celebrated my finding it in them, and felt humbled at the addition of their unique treasures to the world's trove, which has felt more accurately as adding a golden essence of preciousness right into my soul membrane. Like I WAS MADE TO RECEIVE THEM!. 

I have profusely expressed my bedazzlement--feeling the deepest and sweetest kind of magic, experiencing my eyes being opened to the most beautiful sights and sensations that could have only been created by these unique creators. I have felt a rush of something so powerful within me acting strongly to express the importance of their continued exploration and sharing of their creations and soul's findings. I have been inspired, as in filled with spirit and deepest WONDER! 

I have become a broken record about our sacred calling, above all, being the expression of our souls, and with the expansion of this, feeling a tightening in my chest in the form of longing that I might heed my own words.

I am finally catching up to the steady streams of inspiration that birthed Bloomtopia, finally getting all the fear out of the way, so that I can jump courageously into the current and let it take me! Instead of spending and using up so much energy fighting parts of me to get out of the way! 

It has been such a long journey to get to this point where I can jump in the river, instead of hesitating on the banks. 

I honor all that has been. 

In retrospect I can see how perfectly suited all of it has been to help me awaken, to help me to burn away the fear, to help me become humbled, and sacredly opened to receive the heart of my brothers and sisters, without my fear of being unworthy obscuring my view of them, creating edges around my love. 

I've had to burn through so much fear of letting my heart shine, and the even bigger fear, that I might look stupid in the expression of it, and worse, not know it. 

But this is where I keep returning over and over again:

I am meant to express.

I am meant to express my soul.

I am meant to express my soul to you.

You are meant to express.

You are meant to express your soul.

You are meant to express your soul to me.

We are meant to express.

We are meant to express our souls.

We are meant to express our souls to one another.

We are meant to paint our souls on the canvas of our experience and share in this. 

We are meant to begin. 



Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Wordless


I have tried to find my words for 2013, but this year I find myself wordless.
There is a sense that my 'word' cannot be named. It is an is-ness. More of a feeling. More of an opening. It flows through every living thing--untroubled as much by inhabiting a tree shedding its leaves, a flower having bloomed its last time, as much as it revels in bringing vibrance to a fuzzy new bud. It seems to hold the space we inhabit in form as well as speak to something that stands as a back drop for this comedy.

There is one phrase that dropped to me from the heavens...

I no longer chase conditional love.

 I seem to hold this phrase gladly over my heart, as a prayer that I might be supplied the monumental courage to remain steadfastly true to myself, to learn about what that is and isn't.

And my favorite part is how I feel that in that little phrase is what I have always been waiting for,

an absolute freedom

from conditionally loving.